Has anyone seen my eye?

Well, it looks a whole lot like this...

I had one of those trying days today. You know the ones, its like a premonition...regardless of how hard you fight to change it, you know what the outcome is going to be, and it won't be pretty. This is about my visit to the eye doctor.

Okay, a little background. I have not had my eyes checked since my final semester of grad school, which even then was part of a university study (I'm a cheap ass!). After wearing the same pair of contacts for nearly a year, I decided it best (rather the contacts decided for me) that I get another check up and get some new sporty ones...frankly, I look so old in glasses. So...I made a date.

I went in approximately two weeks ago for the eye exam. If you know DC at all then you know that anything that starts out with "Princes Georges..." can't end good (think any bridge into Virginia = lost). That being said, this experience was normal, with a few exceptions. First of all the technician, who did not speak fluent English, could not quite get the glaucoma test just right. That Ho shot air into my eyes five times. I'm not sure what "HEY" in Spanish means, but it got her attention. So, either the final shot worked or she said "screw it!

Then the Dr. came in and I have to say I always hate this exchange; he wanted to discuss the health of my eyes and all I could think about was how he had to know I was not paying a bit of attention to what he was saying....I was hoping like hell there wasn't a test at the end. I mean, we pay them to be specialists and worry about stuff. I pay you, you worry...that's the deal. Anyway, I relate it to getting stoned with your friends. You become so paranoid that everyone thinks your stoned...including those you smoked with...Anyway, out of nowhere I hear him mention my "condition"...what? I have a condition? I just came in because my last contact lens finally curled too much on the edge and it wouldn't stay in my eye any longer...I don't have a condition! Turns out I do...I have a astigmatism. Finally, after embarrassing this humiliating condition I get the bill...$383.

On, and on a quick side not...I DIDN'T GET CONTACT LENSES

That's right, I had to go back into today for a "quick" check up. I guess to make sure my newly discovered plight did not eat my face or something. Well, this jackass had something else in store for me...he felt he needed to dilate my eyes. I strongly objected (if you've had this done before, you'd understand). They put these drops in your eyes then wait. After a few minutes your eyes completely dilate so that Dr. Charge-Me-For-Something-Else can look at the back of my eye. Basically what happens is your eyes are fooled into believing that there is no light, so the little black center gets huge. So, I succumb. They do their thing, charge me another $90 and put me out in the parking lot...eyes fully dilated....that was a fun drive downtown. Oh, still no contacts!

Mood: Pretty good. I went to the gym twice today...bones are tired, but I feel really good.

Listening to: I have got Glamours absolute stuck in my head. I love that song.