Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Christmas 2007...


I was a little apprehensive, but today has turned out to be a pretty good day. The measures that the military had taken in the two previous days made a huge impact and as a result there were no significant attacks on the green zone. I resisted the temptation of laying in bed all day and went into the office around noon. I am glad I did because when I got there I realized that the Iraqi restaurants were not open (there are very few places in the IZ where Iraqi's can eat) so I quickly went to my dining facility to pick up box lunches. It was kinda neat because I took back a traditional Christmas dinner which included turkey, stuffing, green beans, corn, green beans, and of course pumpkin pie. We all sat around and ate our lunches out of white styrofoam, but it was pretty cool.

This evening we went to the main dining facility at the Presidential Palace. I don't go here too often because I honestly want to keep it as a bit of a special treat, but this places does holidays very well - as you can see from the picture above. Tonight I passed on the traditional dinner and went for the lobster, prime rib, shrimp and sweet potatoes. I twas nice to sit with friends and enjoy the holiday music and sip on non-alcoholic champagne.

This was not the best Christmas that I have ever had, but it did have the potential to be the worst; but I wouldn't let it - I just keep looking forward. Tomorrow I will go out into the red zone again. I enjoy these trips, not because of the danger, but because they are an opportunity to get more involved; to become part of a bigger solution.

Well, its getting late here and so I'll wind down.

Monday, December 24, 2007

December 24 Roundup...

One of the reasons that I don't blog more often is that I don't see my entries as diary, instead I see them as story driven. The problem is that by time I write the entry, something else has happened or I have lost interest. Well, I'm going to try one tonight that is a bit more brief, but covers a few topics...we'll see how it goes.

  • Christmas - I'm sad. That's right, I said it - I am hide in a cave and hate the whole fucking world sad - I miss MKO pretty bad. Of course it doesn't help that I am sitting in the middle of a desert either if you know what I mean. I'm pretty good at work and around Friends of hiding my personal life and masking my feelings, but the sadness is there and it is pretty profound. I keep telling myself that it will get better and I'm sure it will, but getting better means putting that part of my life behind me and I don't want to do that. I miss the familiarity of our life and two cats that are the closest things to kids I'd ever have. I have tried to maintain an upbeat but this Christmas thing is kicking my ass.

  • Oh Yeah, the War - By time anyone gets around to reading this Christmas day will have come and gone and you will have found out if I got "hit"or not. I am not saying this in jest, this place is crazy scary today. Typically the insurgents strike us on 1) major American holidays, 2) major Muslim holidays, and 3) other significant events...well, let me tell you the stars are aligned for a good time tonight. You see, tomorrow is Christmas day, which by the way slightly conflicts with the Muslim religion. Add to that this week is Eid, the celebration that begins with the full moon marking the end of Ramadan. Simple enough, right...be aware...nothing more nothing less. But wait...theres a third. This week marks the 1 year anniversary of Saddam's execution. In short - it is going to be a bumpy 48 hours.

  • Breaking-up with the Father-in-Law - Because your gay and you can't technically get married (Ok, some states you can) most people don't think of gay couples as having in-laws and up until recently, I guess I never put much thought into it either. Well, its simply not true. Though I never called him that for fear of his poor heart stopping, I did consider MKO's father to be the closest thing I ever had to a father. MKO kinda had the same situation on the mother side, so it always made me feel good to hear him call my mother "Mom". Without judgement MKO's dad always respected each of us as individuals and our relationship and God knows I tried that mans patience. But what I do know is that he loves me like a son. After what I deemed an appropriate amount of time, I sat down and wrote him a letter. I did not delve into any personal or relationship issues I just told him how much I respected him, how I thought he was an amazing father and friend, and how much I had grown to love him. It took me a bit of time, several drafts, and more than a few gulps but I finished it and sent it off. I realized when I was writing it that I may never see him again and that makes breaking up a bit more suckier.

  • Baghdad is Cold - Holy Christ, it never occurred to me that the Middle East could get cold, but it does. Maybe I am just acclimated to the heat during the day, but at night its crazy cold. Add to that, there is no such thing as insulation here. You just put a sweater on. Well, I need a sweater for my damn room!

  • New House - Starting tonight I have new digs. I'm kind of excited because I currently life in a mud-hut. Its a bit of an exaggeration, but seriously folks, its a hut. I can't tell you specifically where it is or anything about its past, but it is nice. There is a lot of work still to be done on it, but I will be so glad to get out of here.

  • Vacation - For my first R&R I am going to Cape Town South Africa. Though I am very excited about the journey, I am also sad that I will be going it alone. These kind of vacations and experiences are the kind of things a couple works years to achieve and here I am am, going it alone. I will not be deterred though!!! This job is affording me opportunities that I will never have again and if dumb ass wants to sit around and wonder what good thing might be coming around the next corner then go for it - I'm going to S. Africa....hehe, that's what you all really want to see...i know...

Well, that's it for now. I apologize for being so melancholy, but I guess its best to get it out. I hope that everyone back in the states has a great holiday season and to those in Poland, Switzerland, N. Korea, Thailand, Australia, Canada, Brazil, Germany, Italy, Israel, Moskow...ect...enjoy December???

Thursday, December 20, 2007

And then there was one...


After a grueling two weeks, and yes they were intense, Stephanie is making her way to South Dakota to spend the holidays with her family. Having her these past two weeks has made this little spot in the desert very tolerable.

We had a great conversation last night about our lives where we are and how both of our worlds have been turned upside down over the past year and how despite it all, we continue to trek through the storm.

We have all heard the saying that"if life gives you lemons, then make lemonade". Well, it is kinda true. When Steph got here earlier this month I was forced to deal with some pretty intense personal issues. Adding to that, my job freakin insane; its truly a love-hate relationship. She wasn't on the ground 30 minutes and there we were, making lemonade.

2008 is going to be amazing, I can feel it. I am still reluctant to let go of things from the past, but as each day passes, I'm becomming more excitied about grabbing onto what is next...inevitabley one arm will be stronger than the other.

Monday, December 17, 2007

What sucks is...

Running across your ex's new online profile and finding out that you weren't even their type!

Friday, December 7, 2007

Its 5:14 am and I can't sleep. The work here is not getting any more intense, rather more complicated. Its going on 8 weeks now and sometimes I am really not sure what I am doing here.

Fanny got in late Wednesday. Its kind of funny how it was the high point of my time here as well as the low. The high for obvious reasons; she is a fantastic friend and an all out cool chick to roll with. The low has nothing to do with her, rather she reminds me of the life I left back in DC. I don't regret my decision to come here and giving the chance, I would not reverse my decision, but in spending time with her over the past few days I am taken back to the nights we would walk from the apt on the Hill to Hawk & Dove to watch dancing boy, or those 3:30 am amazing dinners she would cook because Pizza-by-the-Slice wasn't gonna cut it, or the Baltimore water taxi ride that really cemented us as friends.

Over the past few weeks my life has changed in a way that I could have never imagined. I am in one of the most fascinating places in one of the most important times in history and I am still stunned by the break-up. Having Fanny here has made the situation real. I am beginning to think that breaking-up is like quitting smoking, you never want to tell anyone or talk about it in the beginning.

Well, morning prayers have started, so I guess thats my sign. For my five readers, good night.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

So, Thats that...

I have spent the past couple of weeks holding out hope that things would work out at home, but tonight I got handed a heavy dose of reality. So I got to spend the past two hours on the phone itemizing the past seven years of my life then negotiating financial terms and the distribution personal items - typical Saturday night, right? Its all right. This is not what I wanted, but I am going to take it in stride. I love my job and have never been more excited about what I am doing. I will spend the next two years traveling the world and finding some sort of peace in who I am - I know, sounds corny!!!

On a positive note, today was a beautiful day here in Iraq. The temperature was mild and the winds were low. There were a few car bombs, but they were a bit distant. I am surprised however about how cold it gets here at night. They warn me that it gets worse, but coming from N. Indiana, I think I can manager a winder in Iraq. In other exciting news, Stephanie is heading out next week, which I am looking too. Everyone needs a Steph in their life. In early December I am heading to Amman, Jordan for a conference. That will cut my time short with Steph, but it is an amazing opportunity.

Now, what your all waiting for...the vacation decision. Though I have not decided, I am leaning toward Greece or Italy. My goal is travel over my birthday (Feb. 19) but that's a long time in Iraq.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Heading out, again...

I'm heading out on another "mission" this morning and for the first time I am feeling anxious. Perhaps because this is my first journey alone or because the expectations on me are higher...not sure.

At any rate, wish me luck.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Another Day in Iraq...

Its 11:45 pm and I am just getting back to my "hooch". I can't tell you how much I hate that term. I haven't had a lot of time of update, but I am constantly "planning on doing it tonight". Well, its finally tonight and I am a bit tired. But, since I cannot call each of you individually, I just wanted to drop a quick not to say hi.

Things are going very well here and even though I work a lot, I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world. I am taking more and more trips out to the red zone, which kinda worries me a bit. Not because of anything specific, its just the statistics; the more often you go out the higher your odds of an incident.

On a more positive note, I want everybodies help. I have been in Iraq since October 21. The funny thing is, I was supposed to return the following week. Well, fortunately for me, that never happened. I had another trip scheduled for home in early December, but because of a conference in Amman, Jordan, that is not going to take place either. What I have decided is that God does not want me to go back to DC and frankly, I'm cool with that. Here's where you come in. I need a vacation destination.

I am taking a vacation in late January or early February. I want to go some place that is reasonable, but fantastic. The only condition I have is that it is warm. I have had a lot of suggestions from my colleagues, but I would like to hear from you. Use the e-mail address below to tell me where I should go and why.

IUMPA2005@gmail.com

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Trips to the Red Zone...

I'm headed out into the "red zone" again this morning. For those that don't know, the red zone is the opposite of the green zone. It is not secured and frankly it is not safe for anyone, including Iraqi's. I will go in with an amazing amount of protection, but of course there is risk regardless. It is pretty hard to sleep the night before a trip.

Everything else is running smooth. We launched our website and application this weekend, so I am pretty excited about that. We did suffer a pretty heavy mortar attack, which I can say because it was covered by the media. And as far as whats next, I didn't forget about my list, so I will start putting my thoughts down this evening.

Sunday, November 25...

The Thanksgiving weekend is nearly over and I think I have survived yet another. This was a little more different than those past, but not completely different. Isn't it funny how a mother to one is mother to all. As I was feeling a bit sad for myself because I was not among my family I thought about all the mothers over here and how much they miss their children. But we know we are all in this together so there is a family-like quality as well.

One other tradition that I missed, but don't miss....the weekend after shopping trip. I have been following it on the news here and realized, "dam, we American's have strange habits!".

Thanks for your e-mail comments. I will hopefully have up the functionality that allows readers to click a button to submit an e-mail.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thanksgiving Turkey and a Mortars Attack...

I woke up this morning knowing that I was going to completely dread this day. This is the first holiday since the split and I had no idea how I was going to deal with it. Up until today I didn't have to thinking about it. The one good thing about being is Baghdad is that it is very easy to forget about your problems. First off, is is easy to look around and see that your problems are minor compared to others and second, when your working 14 hour days you don't have a lot of free time to think about those sorts of things. You march on an dhope like hell there are no significant breaks in the day. However, on days such as this, you can't escape your own memories.

My day start off slow. The alarm went off only to be complete ignored. I simply laid there staring at the ceiling thinking to myself, "why am I here?" "Is there a purpose?" When I left DC five weeks ago I was in absolute bliss. My personal life was in order, I had been selected for a coveted project, I even felt that I was evoloving as a person; I was finally growing up and I had a plan for the future. I was focused on our future. However, as I lay there this morning I realized that its just me now, it is my future and I have to decide what I want to do with it. Most can relate to this, but when your a couple nearly everything you do or every decision you make is a joint effort. When to go on vacation, what car to buy, where to move, should you take this job, etc. Personally, even with myself, I always saw it as a crutch; an excuse in the event you make the wrong decision. However, you grow to rely on this counsel.

An hour and a half later I roll out of bed. Considering I have not taken a day off since arriving here, I did not rush out the door. After an hour or so of prep work, I head into work. Usually I am one of the first into the office, so rolling in two hours late was a bit intimidating. I was anticipating a certain degree of razzing, but I got now. Instead as I turned into the office all of my Iraqi team members approached me one by one to shake my hand and wish me a Happy Thanksgiving (of course there variations in pronunciations). This folks made my day! I really like these guys! After an hour or so of work we all convened downstairs for a catered lunch and a disucssion on what Thanksgiving means to us Americans.

So, my day is getting better. It is about 5:00 and I am meeting with the Office Manager to go over our web application and all hell breaks loose. I have heard car bombs go off several times, but this was no car bomb. Because we are in an environment where gun fire and blasts in the distance are common, there is little conversation. But as we sat there and heard the first explosion - we paused - then the second - we paused again - the third....the look in one anothers eyes indicated that the meeting was over. As we ran out to join the others huddled in a stairway I wasn't afraid, rather curious. It wasn't until the lock down was lifted 3 1/2 hours later that I realized how terrified I should have been. (if your interested in hearing the specifics then e-mail me)

I find the day has come in full circle. I am sitting here now thinking about my life hoping like hell that tomorrow will be another 14 hour day.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Liberal Media - not in Baghdad...

It may sound hard to believe, but one the thing that is not talked about here in Iraq is U.S. politics. Don’t get me wrong, you will hear an occasional light-hearted jab directed toward the President and of course Hillary is fair game, but for the most part there is no serious conversation about the Presidential race, the senate and Lord knows congress doesn't make the list. So, for a guy who loves politics and has spent the last two years in DC, this is pleasant surprise. Though I haven’t spend a lot of time thinking about it, it wasn't until today that it occurred to me why we are not more interested in the race here: because there is no media here telling us we have to be.

This afternoon I was showing my pictures from the trip to Karbala. Being a native Iraqi he was able to teach me about the Prophet Muhammad and the holy site the Shrine of Husayn ibn Ali. The pictures depict us at different stages of the day such as traveling in the Blackhawk, being received the Chief of Police and then by the Governor of Karbala, the town and its people, and three farms. In addition to these planned visits two press conferences were held. It was when I was thumbing (clicking to be exact) through the pictures that I had an “ah ha” moment; a revelation about the media.



There are some important things to note about this meeting in Karbala. First of all Karbala is the only province that has been completely handed over to the Iraqi Military. The handover happened took place on October 29. The purpose of our trip was to demonstrate to the Governor, the people of Iraq, and the rest of the world that the U.S. Government is the first in line to establish business relationships. As mentioned in my previous entry we were accompanied by representative from the Prime Minister’s office, the Department of Defense, the State Department and members of the U.S. business community. To capture this historic event many – the rise of a province heavily affected by the way – two press conferences were held. Please see the picture below and tell me what is missing.

It is a bit small, but what you don't see is CNN, MSNBC, BBC, ABC, NBC, CBS, AP, Washington Post, LA Times, Fox News....but wait...this is a signficant event. The United States Government is doing what it has been slammed for not doing; rebuilding Iraq.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Security, Security, Security...

Due to security, I am making a few minor changes. I have removed the "Friends Blogs" link and the ability to comment. Sounds silly, but this is done for safety of the commentor. This might change, but right now any information is useful information.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

One Crazy Day...


To be honest, I had no intention of making another entry. After the phone call this morning (see previous entry), I was resigned to take cover and wait for the emotional storm to pass. Fortunately for me however life in the IZ doesn't work like that. The reason I am making a second entry is because the experience I had today here in Iraq I really want to share this experience.



So, as the story goes I got a phone call last night asking if I was up for a trip out of the IZ. This was a luck break for me but since none of the other guys in the office will set foot out, I got the call and quickly snapped up the opportunity. Now, I need to be very careful about what information I give out from the military perspective, but I am comfortable saying that I spent the day with a high ranking official from the Department of Defense, the Governor of Karbala, a high ranking official from the Prime Minister's office ,and media like you wouldn't believe. The purpose of meeting is to show that Americans, and eventually other countries, are interested in investing in Iraq's business.


Early this morning we boarded a blackhawk to Karbala. I have never flown in a helicopter nor did I have any desire to do so, but I sould not show weakness. I was expecting a horribly bumpy ride, but it was quite different. It was smooth the entire way. The flight out lasted awhile (can't even tell how long), but it was awesome. I was finally able to see what Baghdad looks like, what the Iraqi countryside looks like and on top of that some pretty amazing castles and mosques. The evidence of the 2003 war is very obvious. For me, when I think of war or targets, I think of military installations, leadership centers, or some other high profile location. However this is not necessarily the case. As a result you see the impact of the bombings all over the country. I could go on and on, but in short, it was an amazing trip. I was privileged to have spent five hours with the leaderships of the US, Iraq and of Karbala. We toured farms, factories, and small villages. Because of the immense security force surrounding us, we were able to walk around without personal armor and to interact with the Iraqi's. I took several pictures but unfortunately, I cannot post them. I did post one of me, but only because I am so damn cute in it.


What I learned from today is that our lives are dynamic yet not indefinite. After a rough morning I had the opportunity to overcome and to give of myself to my company, the US government, and to Iraq. Don't get me wrong, I am still sad but I still have a great friends and family.

A Significant Change...


I hate to just push this out there, but after a great run Michael and I have decided to part. This was a very difficult decision for both of us and we appreciate all who have supported us over seven year history. I know there may be some questions and a strong desire to offer support, and in time I think it will be appreciated.

To Michael I want to say how proud I am of you. You have changed so much in so many ways. you will always be in my heart. When I met this shy boy in 2000 I felt as if the whole world had stopped and now, 7 + years later, I am having the same feeling.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Life in the (Green Zone) International Zone…

Today marks the completion of my 26th day here in Iraq. It some ways it has been very difficult, yet in others it has been rewarding beyond explanation. I know that I have attempted to do the series thing before and failed, but I want to try again. Unless something more interesting or noteworthy comes along, I going to talk about my experiences thus far. This is however going to be interactive. My first entry will be "No Complaining in Iraq". From there, it is up to you...the reader. Immediately below this entry I have listed several topics that I would like to eventually expand upon, but I want you to choose the topic. At the end, simply comment, with name or anonymous, it’s up to you. Also, if you have something specifically you want to ask or you want me to expand upon, feel free to let me know that as well.

No complaining in Iraq

One of the things that you catch onto first here is that as American civilians you do not complain in Iraq. Before I explain in any detail I think it might be helpful to give you an idea of what my life consists of here in Iraq (the things I would complain about...but I'm not!).

First off, I work an incredible amount of hours per day and after nearly four weeks in country I have yet to take a day off. Second, the living conditions are not ideal to the western world, for example, I am routinely chased around my room by the biggest cockroaches you have ever seen. Third, the only place to have a drink is a tiny bar on the camp where the guy pushing swill goes by "get-er-done". Four, you cannot drink the water anywhere in Iraq. Five, I live between two practice firing ranges for the military. You have not heard shit til you've been blown out of your bed by the sound of a 50 Caliber. And six, helicopters will damn near land on your roof anytime of the day or night. Now, I will explain why you, as an American civilian do not complain.

As an American living and working for an American firm here in Baghdad I have the absolute full force protection by the U.S. Military. This may sound a bit trite, but I assure you that from the first step off of the plane you can feel it. It is a surreal feeling to be in a war zone in one of the must tumultuous periods in modern history and have no concern for your personal safety because the presence of 160,000+ soldiers making sure that you go home alive is palpable.

Prior to coming to Iraq I had little use for the military. I did not come for a military family nor did I really know anyone that did. To me the military was a place to send an unruly boy. That said, on the list of things that have changed in my life since coming to Iraq, that is number one. It gives me chills each time I look up and see soldiers hanging out of helicopters or the one kid sitting in the cat-bird seat as M1A1 Abrams rolling into the red zone (yeah, its what you think). I honestly don't know how they do it. As a comparison, when I travel out into the red zone I have a task force (I can't tell you who or how many) that can and will take out a small village should anything obstruct my path. When I travel I am in personal body armor from head to toe and the coordinates of my travels are plotted out days in advance. The irony is that these soldiers who put there lives on the line for us each day make a fraction of what we make and live in conditions much more sparse than anything I have seen. I would never excuse an outright crime conducted by anyone, but for these guys, I would certainly look away as they punched the shit out of anyone who suggested that they are baby killers, rapist, or murders simply because they are soldiers serving in Iraq - read blogs, this is a common sediment.

The other side of the coin here is the Iraqi people. Regardless of how you feel about the war, these people are literally caught in the middle. From Washington DC it was so easy to sit at the Wonderland and to make grand statements about the war, the administration or the obscene amount of money being wasted on the reconstruction. However, from this view point, it is quite different. I realize that anyone reading this is likely to be left leaning, and I don't mean to offend anyone, but this is not a war anymore. It is not about just about politics, religion, or ethnicity; it is about the survival of a nation and future of the Middle East. I remember earlier this year becoming numb to war information...soldiers killed...car bombs...insurgents...surge...I had heard enough, the war wasn't real. That all changed my first week in Baghdad and for me it was sobering. You see, there is this really big kid (22 +/-) 7' tall gentle giant that works with me. I was pretty new, so I didn't talk much. He was a nice guy who each morning would walk in and shook your hand and talk to you about your morning then turn around and do the same thing in the evening before he left for the day. Anyway, I began to notice one day that he (can't use his name) was being visited by everyone in the office. I could not hear what they were saying, but I would hear him give a sincere thank you and soft "enshala" which translates to "Gods Will". What I quickly learned was that my new co-worker and now friend had the week before experienced a death in his family because of the war. I can't tell you the specifics, but you did hear about it and it was not a "military" action. He went on with his day, his week, and his life because here, you have too. Upon discussing this with another Iraqin in the office I was informed "John, every Iraqi you will meet while you are here has lost a brother, sister, mother, father, or child to this war. He must continue as must all continue or we should all leave." I was dumbfounded. I don't mean to suggest that they are cold to death, because they are not. For them, they grieve, but they go on. They are very well aware of their mortality and that because they are working for the "Americans" they are targets, their lives are literally at risk everytime they walk through a gate. One young man in our office recently married and he did not tell his wife where he worked until after they exchanged vows because her family would not allow the marriage to happen.

I may have taken the long way around to make this point, but for all of the hardships that I must endure to be here, the one thing I am assured is my safety and protection. The irony is that of everyone here in this country, the American civilian is the most privileged and least deserving of his rewards. So, I hope that wasn't too long---it looks like a lot of words.

Shhh, don't say Green Zone.

Cruising the Red Zone.

"LOCKDOWN, LOCKDOWN, LOCKDOWN...-"

Surprisingly... no politics.

Members of the Coalition get armour, Iraqis are not members of the Coalition.

Money, who needs money?

This is not a life.

The International Zone is NOT Iraq or Baghdad.

Who is the enemy?

Being stupid will get you killed.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Touchdown Baghdad.....



This is pretty much a required picture for every American that touches down in Baghdad. In this picture I am in the green zone in the middle of Saddam's parade ground. This is road in which the troops would walk by Saddam's presidential box to be inspected. This is a very interesting monument because like everything else in Baghdad, it celebrates war.

Heading to the Red Zone now, so more later.

Love everyone!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Some brief thoughts on Kuwait City...

Upon arriving in the Middle East I had a layover in Kuwait City. Being the typical American, all I really knew about Kuwait was that Saddam attempted to invade the country in the early 90's. I wasn't there long, but I am able to offer a few observations:

1. A minibar without alcohol is not a minibar...its just a mini refrigerator with lame ass non-alcoholic beer!
2. The country smells like dust and Oil, that's it folks...dust and oil.
3. Lot of men walking around, but very few women. I am not sure of the social implication here (oppressed gender), but it is noticeable.
4. When you think of Kuwait, think Khaki.
5. No OSHA - this place is a huge fine waiting to happen.
6. Transportation Security Administration - Nothing close!
7. Everyone smokes. Seriously, everyone, everywhere....even in an elevator.

Unfortunately, I did not get to get out much, so my impression of the city and country is pretty limited.

Going, going, gone...

It may have taken a little longer than expected, but I am finally in the middle east. I am currently in Kuwait City awaiting the puddle jumper (dune jumper?) that will shuttle me for the last leg of my trip into Baghdad. Early this morning I took a walk around the city, then ran back and quickly started to put down some thoughts - oh yeah, its different over here - but something else was on my mind.

Maybe I am already getting a bit home sick, or perhaps I am a bit anxious about the new job, but since leaving DC Monday night, my family and friends have been at the forefront of my mind. Oh, now don't go thinking I'm getting all sappy, on the contrary, I am enjoying the experience but I keep thinking how much more fun it would be if Michael, Stephanie, Colleen, my sisters, or even my mother were with me to share this experience. By nature, I am not a loner; I thrive around others. So, that said, I will you all were here.


I am also posting some pictures of family and friends that took time out of their lives to stop by and have a drink or dinner before I headed out. In particular, special props to Michael and Stephanie whom had to endure several long nights out and Connie, Michelle, and Colleen for driving halfway across the country to see me off.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/89974963@N00/sets/72157602467692667

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Time to Come Clean...

I have known this for a quite a while now, and I probably should have shared it earlier, but late next week I am beginning my path toward Baghdad. I was asked to join a team that will help build the Iraqi government's financial infrastructure and payment system. Now I know that this does not sound exciting to most, but for me this is a very exciting opportunity to do what what I went to school for (Public Policy / Public Financial Management).

Below are the most popular questions I have answered since finding out about the project:

  1. Are you kidding? I am very serious; besides my jokes are much better than this.
  2. Are you worried? I am not worried, at least as far as my safety is concerned. It is important to remember that I will be shielded by the U.S. Military and Blackwater (no jokes please...I'm sensitive).
  3. Are you concerned about anything? Yes, of course. First of all, I will miss the love and security provide to me by Michael on a daily basis. I am also a bit concerned about missing the luxury of being around my friends, the oppressive heat, and the constricted travel. However, what I am most concerned about is a concern that Stephanie made; spending day in and day out surrounded by death and those that are callous to it...I am concerned about how that will change me.
  4. How is Michael with this decision? He is extremely supportive. For those that know us well, we have had a very difficult year and have come out much happier and stronger than we have ever been. He is a bit concerned, but he is much more independent that I, so I don't think the solitude is a factor. On the contrary, I'm sure he'll enjoy the peaceful evenings.
  5. How long will you be there? I have "signed on" for a year. This will of course depend on the project and the current state of Iraq. If our safety cannot be secured, we will be sent packing.
  6. When do you leave? Tentatively I am scheduled to leave for Combat Readiness Training in Fort Benning GA October 6 then depart for Iraq October 13.

That's it for now, but I welcome any questions or advice that anyone may have. This is going to be an amazing year.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Some things you just can't pass up...

Over the past few months I have taken a brief hiatus from blogging, but fortunately for my adoring fans, I have recently jumped back in. Now perhaps I am alone on this, but after these breaks (i.e. not focusing on what I might want to post on my blog) I become a bit rusty even unsure of what still meets the mission of my blog which is to provide: Thoughts and musing from a twisted and sporadic.


Therefore in the absence of witty musings or legitimate content about my personal life, professional life, and the every entertaining Republican Party I will do the ole standby: Post a picture for comment....I will go first.



Adarsh inflating Matt.

Monday, September 17, 2007

John and Mike Protest...

It took more than two years, but Michael and I attended our first protest in Washington DC this weekend and man was it a learning experience. The event took place this past Saturday and to be quite blunt, we really did not know what we were getting into.

More late, but for now a cute pic of my lil protester.

Monday, August 13, 2007

The Wonderland Ballroom...

I want to give a big shout out to the management of The Wonderland Ballroom because this past week they made a business decision that I am sure will have immediate if not long term returns on their investment: The Fired Kara

I want to be the first to congratulate them on this business defining decision. You see for the most part I really don't care who works behind the bar, regardless of the establishment, because frankly I understand the relationship and it is pretty simple; I want a beer; they hand me a beer; I give them money for the beer and something additional as a tip. Don't get me wrong, I do not think that the relationship needs to be that sterile, but it is the foundation. That said, I have been to a lot of bars in the DC / Northern Virginia region (yes, I do stay out of MD) and have experienced many different types of bartenders (good, bad, mediocre) but I have never experienced anything quite like Kara and honestly it is a story in itself.

I have been going into the Wonderland for nearly two years now. Me and my friends were originally turned onto the place by other friends who had been going since the bar opened and we liked it a lot. I would not call us frequent visitors, but we did go on Saturdays for a little dancing, Monday's for trivia, and an occasional after work drink. Now I tell you about the frequency of my visits and the time frame for which I visited because they will become an issue later in the story. As the story goes, one mild DC afternoon some friends and I walked (dragged) our asses down to 11 th and Kenyon for a bit of the hair of the dog that bit us. In addition to our small group (5ish), because of the bars close proximity to us, we convinced three other friends to make the trek to Columbia Heights to meet us. We showed up about ten minutes late as they already had their drinks. I made my way to the downstairs bar and patiently waited at the end of the bar. I was in no hurry, so I just kinda stood there and waited for the bartender to make her way down the relatively empty bar. What came next I can only recount as my mind will let me. This bartender, Kara ( (see Rosmary's Baby) lost her GOD DAMN MIND. Standing no more than the width of the bar from he she screeched to me (paraphrased):

"Who the fuck do YOOOOUUU think you are? I have customers at the other end of the fuckin bar, go down there if you want something"

(Internal Voice: Despite not seeing a trailer anywhere in the neighborhood, I'm sure I recognize her from Indiana, possibly Corn School, the county fair, or was she one of those frequent guests on the Jerry Springer Show /Maury Show where she spends the entire show trying to figure out which of the 18 guys on stage that have been in her are the father of her baby? Hint: I am of the feeling that the ladder doesn't apply in this girls situation.)

However, being the nice "midwesterner" that I am, I simply gave her the stink eye and walked back out to the patio where I encouraged my entourage to finish their drinks. We abruptly left and headed over to this lovely place on Georgia Ave. However, as we were waiting for our friends to finish their drinks, I couldn't contain myself. I was in shock and and as I relived the nightmare to my friends the bar helper leaned into me and whispered, "at least you don't have to work with her". So we left and you would thing the story would be over, right? Clearly not or this would be a pretty lame story.

This past weekend one my friend who was sitting with us that afternoon sent me a link to a myspace blog (public and open mind you) that he had run across. At first I didn't really consider it as I get a lot of Myspace and Youtube e-mails. After boredom set in I finally clicked the link...oh, it was pure joy. It seems that Kara got her as shitcanned. This of course was no news, but she broadcast it to the world through an myspace blog rant. Unfortunately you cannot read it any longer because she locked her page, but if you ask nicely, she may make you a friend and you can read it (http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=14986890) . Her rant was pretty predictable (unfair management, fuck head this, dick head that...), but what was most interesting was one comment she made that seemed to be the only bit of honesty in her tirade. That she was fired because the neighborhood was changing and that the Wonderland management wanted higher standards for the treatment of their customers...WOW. She actually understands she was fired because she is a horrible human being and she still doesn't get it. Immediately following her speech were several comments from her loyal patrons that have committed to following her to next haunt. Well, as did another, felt compelled to share our experience with the little skank. So I basically recounted the above mentioned story to her and informed her that while I sincerely hope that she lands on her feet, I really would like to know where so that I will not make the same mistake of ordering a drink from her again. The following is her e-mail response to me:






And, in the event you can't ready it...here is the transcription:

"who the fuck asked you?

midwestern whities like you would have been eaten alive in that neighborhood 5 years ago. now you thnk you own the city. im sure you and your friends bored me to tears at that bar and got me depressed about what the wonderland was coming to. btw, there was no patio service there, so youre damn right you got your drinks from inside! sorry that was such a burden, fatty. you dont know me, so stay the fuck away from me and my myspace. "

I won't say anything else (spell check), because honestly, this chick is such an easy target. However, to the management of The Wonderland Ballroom, I say congratulations and after a long drought, We'll see you soon.




Monday, July 30, 2007

Somethings are just...Funny!


For those of you that have no idea what is going in my personal life, this will make absolutely no sense to you. However, for those few that are "in the know" this entry is absolutely hysterical.

First let me state that in no way shape or form do I believe in astrology...but for some reason I always read the horoscopes, and not just mine. I read all of my friends in an attempt to gain some sort of insight as to how I should interact...bizarre, I know. That said, per Friendster.com below is my horoscope for yesterday, Sunday, July 29.

  • Try not to resist transitions in any of your relationships -- especially the romantic ones -- right now. If you can stay open to changes a little bit longer, then you will benefit from some important new information. Feeling uncomfortable for a short period of time is a small price to pay for an enlightened sense of who you are, and what role you are meant to play in this partnership. Just let things take their course, and you will be able to bob and weave along with the changes.

There are several reasons this makes me laugh. The first is timing, and frankly that is what the horoscope is all about. The second is patience. If this is MY horoscope, then they should know I have zero patience. Finally, this is the same conversation I have had with everyone that I am close to. Its funny how life just keeps pounding on you til you really get the point....got it!


Thursday, July 26, 2007

Something new

Since I cannot think of anything to blog about in my personal life, I have decided to try something new in hopes of curing my writers block and to hopefully learn something along the way. What I am going to try to do is provide an online progress report on the home renovation project.

The house was purchased in May 2006 and we moved in early July of 2006. Because of the extreme cost of homes in the District of Columbia, a starter house needing improvements was the only realistic route. The result was the house that is pictured above. Since moving in last July, we have made some changes, however we still have a long way to go. Below is a summary of what has been done to date and below that what still needs to be done:

Performed to date:

  • Hardwood floors have been sanded and stained
  • 8 Windows have been replaced

Evolving list of tasks to be performed:

  • 4 Windows need replaced
  • Renovate Kitchen
  • Gut and renovate bathroom (upstairs)
  • Gut and renovate dining room (50% complete)
  • Gut and renovate living room
  • Paint 2 bedrooms
  • Gut and renovate 1 bedroom
  • Add additional electrical outlets throughout the house
  • Add heating and cooling ventilation systems
  • Replace plumbing as needed
  • Renovate basement (convert into apartment)
  • Install new gutters
  • Repair garage roof
  • Repair front porch
  • Landscape the yard.

Wow, I have never really put all of that down on a list before. But there it is. My intentions are to upload pics of each room and the progress as it happens. Then, once complete, I will provide a slide show of the before and after. Mind you, this is my intention. Assuming this whole effort will take a couple years, it could change.

So, until improvements have been made...

Oh, and I'll still write about other things when I'm feeling the vibe.

Friday, July 6, 2007

Still waiting...

...for what, I am not sure.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Favorite Song day...w/lyrics



It's a little bit funny this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
I don't have much money but boy if I did
I'd buy a big house where we both could live

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross
But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

Something new...

Ok, heres the thing I have not written anything new in about a month. Even the last few entries have been youtube videos to entertain the masses. I have tried for over a week now to put something worth while in a post and I just can't. I don't know why, I'm not a good enough writer to actually have writers block, so this draught is unexplainable.

OMG, I just got it...I'm afraid to write about my life over the past few weeks because a) it will be a lie, or b) I don't want to face it...

Mood: Not sad, not happy, not stressed, not elated....I am absolutely blah!

Friday, June 15, 2007

Braces, Diet Pills, and Capitol Hill...

I haven't posted anything significant in a while so I feel like I owe some news to the faithful. As you can probably tell from previous posts, I have been going through a lot lately on the personal front. To protect the privacy of others, I won't dwell on that too much. However, I will share with you this, without the unrelenting support of Michael and the wisdom of Stephanie, I would have gone completely nuts a week ago. So, as the heading suggests, I do have a few pieces of news to share.

Braces - The orthodontist removed my bottom braces yesterday afternoon. I have to admit that I wasn't expecting much except the wisdom from another that they would "be slimy". Well, they are not slimy and they are beautiful!! I can't wait to get the tops off.

Diet Pills - I have been running for over a year and not just a casual trot. I spent most of last year running 20+ miles a week. While I am very proud to have been able to run a marathon last year, I really wanted to shave off some lbs. Well, it didn't happen so I have recently resorted to Lipodrene. I know this is going to draw some criticism (KT), but I'm not crazy. I am being very careful. Let me tell you this though, these fuckers make you nuts!

Capitol Hill - I am moving out of the house in NE DC and back to Capitol Hill.

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Lazy saturday post...

Videos that I have to sit and wait hours to see on MTV...brought to you with one click...

Fergie - Hate the girl, love the song:



Snow Patrol - Awww, hidden meaning song:




Blue October - Love, Alcoholism, Drugs, Suicide = Intense Self Loathing:



Hoobastank - The words more than the video (its lame):



Jennifer Holliday - This Folks is Pain!:



Ok, thats it for now. I am looking for a few others, but with little success. This does irk me a bit, because I give myself a lot of credit for knowing music. Therefore, when I do find them I will certainly make a big deal out of it.

Its Saturday morning and the weather in DC is pretty good. Headed to they gym then a long run. Have a good weekend.

Mood: Pretty Good!

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Back to the grind...

Since coming back to work this past Monday I realized something; this whole being out of college and working and being a responsible really sucks.

On a positive note, I have now received feedback and scores on all of my annual reviews (mid-year engagement review, year end engagement review, annual performance assessment). I received "exceeds expectations" across the board, which based on the recent challenges made me feel pretty good. What does exceeds expectations really mean you maybe wondering...well, its a good question. Based on past experience, it is a trivial score used by my firm to allocate % increase in annual salary and your share of the bonus pool. However, this year the scores hold a slightly different meaning for me as I am putting myself up for a promotion.

Unlike most private companies or even the federal government, at my firm individuals must petition to be promoted, it is not involuntary nor automatic. The process for petition for promotion is a promotion package similar to the security clearance package I completed last year. It is insane and what they fail to tell you is that everything that you have ever done (proposal work, special projects, community / professional events) must be documented with all of these forms that you have never seen before. You try remembering why you went to some lame ass lunch discussion by some tool from the OMB...they explain what you learned...but I did it...all of it. I obviously never given birth, but I imagine it feels similar to what I experienced over the past fee weeks.

Other than that things are good and by good I mean I'm not dead and that's good...LOL Some days I have moments of crystal clarity that really surprise me, others are mundane and "going through the paces" kinda thing, and still others are a complete fog.

Picture of the day: For you clown lovers...

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Monday, June 4, 2007

Kissing the ex...

I don’t care who you are, each one of us has that one ex that we keep safely tucked away in our past. If you are completely honest with yourself then you are very familiar with this person. He is the first person you think of when times get rough; the one that understands you when the rest of the world seems to have gone nuts; the one that you know for certain that if things would have been a little more different he would still be at your side; the one that made you understand the bliss of true love and then as swiftly made you feel the hollowness of a broken heart. I will call this the Phantom Ex, or in my case, David R.

The dictionary defines a phantom as “a person or thing of merely illusory power, status, efficacy, etc”. Therefore, the Phantom Ex as I described above does not actually exist to the extent that you remember them; rather they only exist as you remember them. Meaning; all of that understanding, compassion, intimacy, and love while real in your memory might not necessarily be real, rather it’s a wanton desire to remember things they way you wanted them to be. For me, one of my fears was facing that reality because so much of who I am is tied into who I thought I was and how far I have come…if that makes any sense. Well, I did not have to wait long to face this fear.

This past weekend during at brief visit to Indiana to take a break from DC life, a stressful job, and relationship issues that have provided their own challenges in recent months I was faced with the opportunity to spend some time with my Phantom Ex. Because we have maintained a friendship, though distant, over the years, it was an easy decision to meet for a few drinks, or so I thought.

It is really hard to explain the flood of emotions when I walked into that nasty little bar this past Thursday night. He was sitting at the end of the bar smoking a cigarette; making it look good. I walked toward him and he stood and gave me the biggest hug telling me “you look good baby”. My first though was “god damnit, will you ever age!” – I think I actually said that. My second thought was a lot more telling of my inner perceptions as I thought “why are you here…in this dump?”

We began our pleasantries and as we sat chatting, drinking, taking pictures, and playing pool my mind would spin back to that person that I had put on an unachievable pedestal and wonder where is he now. While he was distracted or talking to another patron I would steal glimpses at him and different scenarios would run through my head…if the stars were more in line would this be my life?...what I am going to do if he says that he always loved me and wants to run away with me tonight…doe he still think I’m hot?...what did that comment mean?...etc.

In looking back on that evening I realized how much time we spent talking about our lives today and what we are doing to achieve success and happiness and very little time talking about our life back then. And even though I now realize that my Phantom Ex does not exist to the extent the way I remembered him, I did learn that 1) David has always been there for me during my low periods, 2) he does know me a lot better than most, 3) thank god those stars were not in line all those years ago, and (4) you don’t need to be in love with someone to love them.


For those waiting to hear salacious details about the rest of the evening, I have to disappoint. We drank, laughed, and genuinely had a great time. I won't deny the that some subtle flirting too place, but nothing sorted or unhealthy.

(Two of my goodest friends; David and Andrea)

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

The Indiana Trip...

As wrote last week, I am back in Bloomington this week to relax and spend some time with family and friends. The drive was smooth and went by quickly; which I attribute to anticipation. My time here has been great. It is certainly the break I need from work and DC in general.

One of the great things about Bloomington is that it changes very little. Within the parameters of the University (five blocks each way), IU is truly a campus in a college town. Whether you are jogging down 3rd street past the fraternities and sororities after class or stumbling up Kirkwood toward the Sample Gates on your way home from Nicks after few failed rounds of Sink the Biz, the campus has that special vibe. In visiting Blooming this week, I had two goals. The first was to spend time with friends and second, was to spend some time on campus.


This first night in town I stayed on campus in the Memorial Union (hotel). Since graduation took place earlier this month, securing a room was not difficult at all. Becoming accustomed to nicer hotels lately, I wasn't expecting much from the union so the surprise when I walked into the room was even more rewarding. Not only was the room amazing, but the windows looked out across the campus, particularly over the Beck Chapel and the main creek that runs through campus. The first few hours I laid in the bed with reading a book with the windows open listening to the sound of the water running over the rocks below. That bliss was briefly disturbed by one of Indiana's other great attributes, the beetle. This damn bug flew into the room and like all idiot beetles, started running into things. For the most part, I have no problem with insects. I do draw the line with landing on me, but other than that, "mi casa, su casa". So I lay and read and this god damn thing keeps hitting the wall, TV, lamp, door...everything. Being the passive nature lover I am, I moved toward the insect to escort the little fella out the window, then quickly realized that I'm a DC'ite now, so I whacked it....done, back to reading.


Monday I woke up at 6:30 and started my own personal tour of campus. I was going to do a quick jog for old times sake, but I'm on vacation, so I walked and walked then walked more. After hitting the highlights, the Kelley School of Business, SPEA, HPER, and the fountain, I made my way down to Starbucks for morning coffee. Kirkwood was exactly as I left it two years ago and I couldn't help just walking down the street. The only thing that was missing from my adventure; friends. Rarely did I ever do anything in Bloomington without friends. I couldn't help thinking about Steph, Elena, Jessica, Josh, Chester....

After my trip down memory lane I fed my affinity for IU by stopping by every campus bookstore, the TIS bookstore, and anyone that sold anything with IU on it. I will come back to DC truly "representin" the IU.

Well, theres been a lot more, but I will share that later.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Caution...too much clicking on myspace leads to this...

Your Heart Is Purple

For you, love is about establishing and developing a deep connection.
If it's true love, it brings you more wisdom and inner strength.

Your flirting style: Sincere

Your lucky first date: An afternoon at a tea house

Your dream lover: Is both thoughtful and expressive

What you bring to relationships: Understanding

Thursday, May 24, 2007



I have been living in Washington DC for nearly two years now and it never really occurred to me that I have not been back to Indiana since moving out here. I have made one day trips for Christmas or other special occasions, but never because I wanted too. Well, I want too.

I've thought some about it and I realized that I really miss the Hoosier State. At first I thought that I just missed the people like my cool as hell former boss Judith, my ex-best friend Andrea(we're friends now), and even an ex David, who despite a ridiculous relationship and the passing "X" number of years has turned out to be a bizarre life coach to me in recent years. What I miss is my former life, I miss the simplicity of making a quick dash to the grocery store or the ability to drive through the streets without having dodge taxicabs. I miss people like Chester and Jeremy who are the kind of friends that just want to sit, have a beer and chat about how fun this or that was. I feel like I'm a character in a Lifetime Movie and have to go home to get in touch with who I am.

Now I feel like I need to give DC a "shout-out". I do love DC and even as I eagerly await my journey this week, I know that the likely hood of me ever living in Indiana again is pretty slim...but I can sure sit at Yogi's and have a $2.00 beer

I'll take pics for all you IU Fans.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

One Fun Sunday...



I am not a big fan of crowds at all and for the most part have successfully avoided events like Taste of Arlington in the past. However, since Alberto was leaving for two weeks (PA then South Africa), we said hell with it, and headed toward the metro.

It was a blast. Perhaps its because the girl at the beer truck screwed up and didn't check off our first two drinks or maybe because P.F. Changs had a stand, either way we had a great time. So, to Alberto, Michael, Andrew, Charlie, and Rudi...holla!

Below are some pictures from the event. Enjoy.

Monday, May 21, 2007

The hardest thing I've ever done...

There's a Hole in My Sidewalk
by Potia Nelson
Chapter One
I walk down a street and there's a big hole. I don't see it and fall into it. It's dark and hopeless and it takes me a long time to find my way out. It's not my fault !

Chapter Two
I walk down the same street. There's a big hole and I can see it, but I still fall in. It's dark and hopeless and it takes me a long time to get out. It's still not my fault.

Chapter Three

I walk down a street. There's a big hole. I can see it, but I still fall in. It's become a habit. But I keep my eyes open and get out immediately. It is my fault.

Chapter Four
I walk down a street. There's a big hole. And I walk around it.

Chapter Five
I walk down a different street.


A friend sent me this poem earlier today. At first I thought of it like every other"pep-talk" e-mail that is circulated, but then I read it. It's pretty amazing in that it illustrates that as complicated as we make life out to be, in the end it is amazing how simple it is.

I said good-bye to Stephen today, one of the hardest things I have ever done. Stephen is a great guy that I got to know over the past six months. During that period I learned a great deal about myself and the world around me and for that I cannot be more grateful. I wish him the best in his life, love, and career.
So the hard part, Chapter 5, walking down a different street....

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Hmmmm...

There is not really much that I can add here except that I thought that V.P. Cheney had straighted out the Iraqi Parliament a week or so ago. I mean, hell, he scared the shit out of me, and he was thousands of miles a way. Perhaps he should take a couple of these boys out on a "Texas Style" hunting trip...that should do the trick.

Friday, May 18, 2007

For Stephanie...

Ok, I couldn't resist seeking this video out and posting it for you. Our mutual love for this song only demonstrates how strange we really are...



Also, we had a great time last night with Nicki. Ryan was very successful in keeping it a surprise. Of course our group gave her liquor. It was also interesting sitting with a group of Hill Rats that work for Hil. Even our usually composed KT fell into the trap "OMG, you work down the hall in blah blah dumb asses office"....OMG, do you know who I rode in the elevator with??? Oh and finally, the Cuban gets big props. Not once did he point at something and fart and he gave everyone a ride home. You would have been proud!!

Anyway, love ya...come home soon.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Crazy Crap...

I've got this song in my head today:



I know, I know...I have not been good lately at updating my loyal legions on the arbitrary occurances of my life. I don't have the time or energy to really dedicate this week, but since I know Steph is watching from a distance, I thought I should leave something here for her to look at.

First of all, I'm a freaking moron. Last night I took a break from the insanity of life / work to enjoy a baseball game. Rob and I headed to the stadium, stopped and enjoyed a few on the way of course, to watch the Nats play the Braves. Now, I'm not sure if I was excited about the Nats winning, the beautiful evening, or the stop along the way, but I was having a great time. So, after the game, Rob and the wife wanted to have a drink....a drink you say...OK. So, we head up to Capitol Hill for a little drinky drinky. After a few pictures we make our way home, them to their car me to the metro. Now, considering the time, I had to bust ass, but when I got there I had plenty of time (8 minutes). So, I sat down, flipped out my phone and started reading the news. Now, heres where I am an idiot. I actually heard over the loud speaker that the approaching train was the last train for the evening...so I sat. It wasn't until I saw the red lights leaving me behind that the message sank in...I was stuck. So, no big deal, hail a cab. I walk outside laughing at how stupid I am... I heard then say "last train, but I sat". At any rate, I hail a cab and give my directions (twice). I'm in a shirt and tie looking professional you know. We get about ten blocks away and he says, "you know I am only taking cash" Hmm, I don't know why I felt this the time to listen. I said, I don't have cash...and just like the movies, you heard the tires squeal as the brakes were swiftly applied. If you know anything about DC then you know that H Street is the new "up and coming" neighborhood. Well, that might be true near Capitol Hill, but at H and Maryland Street, its another story. This damn driver put me out right there. No ATM, no I'll pay you with the cash when I get there...get out. So, I walked and walked and walked. Morale of the story, I'm drinking and driving next time!

Second, the Y-Me walk was this past Sunday. In case you don't know what it is, the Y-me is a annual 3-mile walk to raise money for breast cancer patients and surviors. On a personal level, it was an amazing experience. To walk next to those who have fought through the disease, to walk next to those still fighting the disease, and to walk next to those who are walking as a show of love for those that did not survive, was a complete humbling experience. For those who don't know, and I'd say thats most of you, things have been a bit rough for me lately. I am struggling with a lot of personal issues. I could go on, but the point is that my issues are so little compared to the people that I surrounded myself with Sunday. I am truly lucky. And on one final Y-Me note, through the kindness of family and friends, I was able to raise $1165. So, to those that contributed, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

Work Sucks!
I am really struggling with my job lately. I thought after we lost the one trouble maker that things would be fine. Funny thing about someone that causes you grief, you know the beast you fight. I am finding out that I'd rather fight her than to have to learn the punching strategy of another. I'm not sure if its the personal life impacting the work life, but I feel constantly defeated at work. I go in with a positive perspective, only to be sucker punched in the first 15 minutes. I'm really not sure how much longer I can take it. I'm not talking anything severe mind you, perhaps a shift to another project or even another firm. I really like the nature of my work, just the constant struggle sux.

Other Random Thoughts:
The weather is amazing!

Friday, May 11, 2007

The Men Date...

Since Fanny jumped ship and headed out of the country last month, MKO and I have taken advantage of the opportunity to get to know the Cuban a bit better. While he can't sling back a Yuengling as good as our Fanny, he has surprised me lately by keeping up and being a hell of a lot of fun. The three of us have taken to "man dates".

Our last man date was last night. Being that maven that he is, MKO and I were invited, along with three other guys to join the Cuban at a reception to celebrate public servants - I am not a public servant. Anyway, we meet up and this reception wasn't half bad. It was held at the Old Postal Museum near Union Station. To our surprise the food was good and the beer and wine was free. The six of us closed that mother down! This new character that joined our group was hysterical....made me laugh, and that takes some effort. Hes a little older than me and single, so hes talking up a group of 40-something women. The only funny thing about this story was as me and the other four guys are standing in a circle talking (while hes trying to score come granny-stuff) we hear him say "anal probe". Well, goes without saying that it went downhill from there. As the ladies were getting up to leave however they made one final gesture; one offered him the rest of her beer...really! She actually handed him a half-empty bottle of beer - who does that?. This dude looked normal to me, not like he was having the DTs from lack of alcohol.

After the reception we trekked over to the Irish Times to chase our beer down with more beer. it all, it was fun. MKO and I departed for home and as we were getting on the train I realized that we were all on a man date. No one was "looking" for anything, rather just a group of guys hanging out. We're totally getting our nails done tomorrow...LOL

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Random stuff













I'm trying the facial scruff. Not really sure if I like it or not, opinions welcome...













One for Steph...















Whoever said it wouldn't work....was correct...lol

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

A Great Weekend...

As indicated in previous posts, I traveled back to Cincinnati this past weekend for the Flying Pig Half Marathon. It is not my intent to hop all over the country running in random races, but I did this one for two reasons. First, to support my niece in her first real run and second, to return to the city that symbolized my first real step into adulthood.

The Race: This is Ash and I the day before the race. Look at that smile, the poor child is so unaware of what awaits her the next morning. Being a good uncle however, at her insistence, went a nice pub just east of Downtown for a few drinks...you know, to prepare. Still trusting that she knew what she was doing as far as training for the race, I heeded her advice and enjoyed a icy cold beer. It was a great afternoon. We ate, drank, and I doled out advice on race "preparations". Saturday evening my family started to roll into town. It was pretty low key, mostly chilled, had some dinner, then watched some TV. I'm not sure what I was nervous about, but I didn't sleep at all that night, maybe 2.5 hours. Up at 4 am, Ash and I headed downtown for a 6:30 am gun. It was a bit brisk, but we were "in it to finish".

The race was a bit more intense than I had imagined. I have been training since Chicago last year, so my race pace is just under a 9 minute mile. Ash's was a bit slower, but pretty good for her first race. The hills were much more intense than I had imagined they would be. We literally ran up hill from mile 3 to mile 10. It was at mile 5 that she confessed that she really hadn't been training as she had previously stated. Determined, we kept our mantra that we were going to finish either way.

Once we hit mile 10 and realized that it was "downhill from here" we were relieved. Here is us between 10 and 11 (don't we look remarkably fresh?). In the end we did very well. We finished the race in 2 hours 44 minutes.

I am so proud of her. For someone that had never run more than 4 miles in her life but ran 13.1 non-stop up hills out of sheer determination and ambition, I am in awe.

Here's to Ash!!!

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Coming home...sorta


For those that don't know, I lived in Cincinnati from late 1989 to early 1993 ish... I was the first of my large family to move more than an hour from my mother, so it was a big step. I moved to Cincinnati in 1989 in pursuit of a girl (looking back, I really dodged a bullet...a BIG one). At any rate, it was during my stay in the Queen City (I know, irony right??) that I met Colleen. I have two very distinct recollections of that meeting. The first was her insatiable curiosity about dead animals (she had skeletons everywhere) and the second was that she borrowed my car and didn't come back for four hours...when your 20, that's a long time. Well, needless to say, the first meeting was not so wonderful. Fortunately for me, all that changed.

Fast forward 17 years now and I can honestly say that she is the best friend that I have ever had. She has seen me through serious relationships and not so serious relationships, a long drive cross country towing her car with two kittens on the dashboard, I watched her fight with the waiter in Little Italy NY over an egg plant parmesan lunch (remarkably our lunches came out an hour later,in an empty restaurant!), and become so pissed at me in Boston that she would not eat the freshly caught lobster. But through it all, she has been there. When I was sad, she'd drive through the night to sit with me, only to turn around 2 hours later and make the same 4 hour trek back home. Time was never an issue if you I needed a friend.

It is seeing her and spending time with her this weekend that re centers me on what friendship and happiness means. Colleen was there when I literally had nothing (I was fired from a Dunken Donuts) and now that we've both established our lives and we're moving toward old age together, she still looks, talks, and acts the same way as ever...a best friend. I do not get to see her as often as either of us would like, but when we do its so familiar, non-judgemental, unprotected, and unreserved. She is one of these rare people that is sincere in what she says and I know shes my friend...

Finally, I want to say how much I really hate the term "best friend" because it is so singular, it implies that only one can be the best. So, to all of my other "best friends" get your ass home!