The hardest thing I've ever done...

There's a Hole in My Sidewalk
by Potia Nelson

Chapter One
I walk down a street and there's a big hole. I don't see it and fall into it. It's dark and hopeless and it takes me a long time to find my way out. It's not my fault !

Chapter Two
I walk down the same street. There's a big hole and I can see it, but I still fall in. It's dark and hopeless and it takes me a long time to get out. It's still not my fault.

Chapter Three
I walk down a street. There's a big hole. I can see it, but I still fall in. It's become a habit. But I keep my eyes open and get out immediately. It is my fault.

Chapter Four
I walk down a street. There's a big hole. And I walk around it.

Chapter Five
I walk down a different street.

A friend sent me this poem earlier today. At first I thought of it like every other"pep-talk" e-mail that is circulated, but then I read it. It's pretty amazing in that it illustrates that as complicated as we make life out to be, in the end it is amazing how simple it is.

I said good-bye to Stephen today, one of the hardest things I have ever done. Stephen is a great guy that I got to know over the past six months. During that period I learned a great deal about myself and the world around me and for that I cannot be more grateful. I wish him the best in his life, love, and career.

So the hard part, Chapter 5, walking down a different street....

Hmmmm...

There is not really much that I can add here except that I thought that V.P. Cheney had straighted out the Iraqi Parliament a week or so ago. I mean, hell, he scared the shit out of me, and he was thousands of miles a way. Perhaps he should take a couple of these boys out on a "Texas Style" hunting trip...that should do the trick.

For Stephanie...

Ok, I couldn't resist seeking this video out and posting it for you. Our mutual love for this song only demonstrates how strange we really are...



Also, we had a great time last night with Nicki. Ryan was very successful in keeping it a surprise. Of course our group gave her liquor. It was also interesting sitting with a group of Hill Rats that work for Hil. Even our usually composed KT fell into the trap "OMG, you work down the hall in blah blah dumb asses office"....OMG, do you know who I rode in the elevator with??? Oh and finally, the Cuban gets big props. Not once did he point at something and fart and he gave everyone a ride home. You would have been proud!!

Anyway, love ya...come home soon.

Crazy Crap...

I've got this song in my head today:



I know, I know...I have not been good lately at updating my loyal legions on the arbitrary occurances of my life. I don't have the time or energy to really dedicate this week, but since I know Steph is watching from a distance, I thought I should leave something here for her to look at.

First of all, I'm a freaking moron. Last night I took a break from the insanity of life / work to enjoy a baseball game. Rob and I headed to the stadium, stopped and enjoyed a few on the way of course, to watch the Nats play the Braves. Now, I'm not sure if I was excited about the Nats winning, the beautiful evening, or the stop along the way, but I was having a great time. So, after the game, Rob and the wife wanted to have a drink....a drink you say...OK. So, we head up to Capitol Hill for a little drinky drinky. After a few pictures we make our way home, them to their car me to the metro. Now, considering the time, I had to bust ass, but when I got there I had plenty of time (8 minutes). So, I sat down, flipped out my phone and started reading the news. Now, heres where I am an idiot. I actually heard over the loud speaker that the approaching train was the last train for the evening...so I sat. It wasn't until I saw the red lights leaving me behind that the message sank in...I was stuck. So, no big deal, hail a cab. I walk outside laughing at how stupid I am... I heard then say "last train, but I sat". At any rate, I hail a cab and give my directions (twice). I'm in a shirt and tie looking professional you know. We get about ten blocks away and he says, "you know I am only taking cash" Hmm, I don't know why I felt this the time to listen. I said, I don't have cash...and just like the movies, you heard the tires squeal as the brakes were swiftly applied. If you know anything about DC then you know that H Street is the new "up and coming" neighborhood. Well, that might be true near Capitol Hill, but at H and Maryland Street, its another story. This damn driver put me out right there. No ATM, no I'll pay you with the cash when I get there...get out. So, I walked and walked and walked. Morale of the story, I'm drinking and driving next time!

Second, the Y-Me walk was this past Sunday. In case you don't know what it is, the Y-me is a annual 3-mile walk to raise money for breast cancer patients and surviors. On a personal level, it was an amazing experience. To walk next to those who have fought through the disease, to walk next to those still fighting the disease, and to walk next to those who are walking as a show of love for those that did not survive, was a complete humbling experience. For those who don't know, and I'd say thats most of you, things have been a bit rough for me lately. I am struggling with a lot of personal issues. I could go on, but the point is that my issues are so little compared to the people that I surrounded myself with Sunday. I am truly lucky. And on one final Y-Me note, through the kindness of family and friends, I was able to raise $1165. So, to those that contributed, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

Work Sucks!
I am really struggling with my job lately. I thought after we lost the one trouble maker that things would be fine. Funny thing about someone that causes you grief, you know the beast you fight. I am finding out that I'd rather fight her than to have to learn the punching strategy of another. I'm not sure if its the personal life impacting the work life, but I feel constantly defeated at work. I go in with a positive perspective, only to be sucker punched in the first 15 minutes. I'm really not sure how much longer I can take it. I'm not talking anything severe mind you, perhaps a shift to another project or even another firm. I really like the nature of my work, just the constant struggle sux.

Other Random Thoughts:
The weather is amazing!

The Men Date...

Since Fanny jumped ship and headed out of the country last month, MKO and I have taken advantage of the opportunity to get to know the Cuban a bit better. While he can't sling back a Yuengling as good as our Fanny, he has surprised me lately by keeping up and being a hell of a lot of fun. The three of us have taken to "man dates".

Our last man date was last night. Being that maven that he is, MKO and I were invited, along with three other guys to join the Cuban at a reception to celebrate public servants - I am not a public servant. Anyway, we meet up and this reception wasn't half bad. It was held at the Old Postal Museum near Union Station. To our surprise the food was good and the beer and wine was free. The six of us closed that mother down! This new character that joined our group was hysterical....made me laugh, and that takes some effort. Hes a little older than me and single, so hes talking up a group of 40-something women. The only funny thing about this story was as me and the other four guys are standing in a circle talking (while hes trying to score come granny-stuff) we hear him say "anal probe". Well, goes without saying that it went downhill from there. As the ladies were getting up to leave however they made one final gesture; one offered him the rest of her beer...really! She actually handed him a half-empty bottle of beer - who does that?. This dude looked normal to me, not like he was having the DTs from lack of alcohol.

After the reception we trekked over to the Irish Times to chase our beer down with more beer. it all, it was fun. MKO and I departed for home and as we were getting on the train I realized that we were all on a man date. No one was "looking" for anything, rather just a group of guys hanging out. We're totally getting our nails done tomorrow...LOL

Random stuff

I'm trying the facial scruff. Not really sure if I like it or not, opinions welcome...

One for Steph...

Whoever said it wouldn't work....was correct...lol

A Great Weekend...

As indicated in previous posts, I traveled back to Cincinnati this past weekend for the Flying Pig Half Marathon. It is not my intent to hop all over the country running in random races, but I did this one for two reasons. First, to support my niece in her first real run and second, to return to the city that symbolized my first real step into adulthood.

The Race: This is Ash and I the day before the race. Look at that smile, the poor child is so unaware of what awaits her the next morning. Being a good uncle however, at her insistence, went a nice pub just east of Downtown for a few drinks...you know, to prepare. Still trusting that she knew what she was doing as far as training for the race, I heeded her advice and enjoyed a icy cold beer. It was a great afternoon. We ate, drank, and I doled out advice on race "preparations". Saturday evening my family started to roll into town. It was pretty low key, mostly chilled, had some dinner, then watched some TV. I'm not sure what I was nervous about, but I didn't sleep at all that night, maybe 2.5 hours. Up at 4 am, Ash and I headed downtown for a 6:30 am gun. It was a bit brisk, but we were "in it to finish".

The race was a bit more intense than I had imagined. I have been training since Chicago last year, so my race pace is just under a 9 minute mile. Ash's was a bit slower, but pretty good for her first race. The hills were much more intense than I had imagined they would be. We literally ran up hill from mile 3 to mile 10. It was at mile 5 that she confessed that she really hadn't been training as she had previously stated. Determined, we kept our mantra that we were going to finish either way.

Once we hit mile 10 and realized that it was "downhill from here" we were relieved. Here is us between 10 and 11 (don't we look remarkably fresh?). In the end we did very well. We finished the race in 2 hours 44 minutes.

I am so proud of her. For someone that had never run more than 4 miles in her life but ran 13.1 non-stop up hills out of sheer determination and ambition, I am in awe.

Here's to Ash!!!

Coming home...sorta

For those that don't know, I lived in Cincinnati from late 1989 to early 1993 ish... I was the first of my large family to move more than an hour from my mother, so it was a big step. I moved to Cincinnati in 1989 in pursuit of a girl (looking back, I really dodged a bullet...a BIG one). At any rate, it was during my stay in the Queen City (I know, irony right??) that I met Colleen. I have two very distinct recollections of that meeting. The first was her insatiable curiosity about dead animals (she had skeletons everywhere) and the second was that she borrowed my car and didn't come back for four hours...when your 20, that's a long time. Well, needless to say, the first meeting was not so wonderful. Fortunately for me, all that changed.

Fast forward 17 years now and I can honestly say that she is the best friend that I have ever had. She has seen me through serious relationships and not so serious relationships, a long drive cross country towing her car with two kittens on the dashboard, I watched her fight with the waiter in Little Italy NY over an egg plant parmesan lunch (remarkably our lunches came out an hour later,in an empty restaurant!), and become so pissed at me in Boston that she would not eat the freshly caught lobster. But through it all, she has been there. When I was sad, she'd drive through the night to sit with me, only to turn around 2 hours later and make the same 4 hour trek back home. Time was never an issue if you I needed a friend.

It is seeing her and spending time with her this weekend that re centers me on what friendship and happiness means. Colleen was there when I literally had nothing (I was fired from a Dunken Donuts) and now that we've both established our lives and we're moving toward old age together, she still looks, talks, and acts the same way as ever...a best friend. I do not get to see her as often as either of us would like, but when we do its so familiar, non-judgemental, unprotected, and unreserved. She is one of these rare people that is sincere in what she says and I know shes my friend...

Finally, I want to say how much I really hate the term "best friend" because it is so singular, it implies that only one can be the best. So, to all of my other "best friends" get your ass home!

Headed to the Flying Pig

Wish me luck...13.1 miles. Actually, it won't be too bad. I'm doing it more to support my niece who is running her first big race. I'll post some pics when its complete, providing that they are not horrible....trust me, after 10 miles, we all look like hell!

Have a great weekend!

Friendster Update...

I didn't realize how much a social tool the Internet was until I hit grad school. It was early on in the first semester and every time I turned around someone was asking what my screen name for this site or that site was. So, like most everyone else in the modern world, I signed up for them....The Facebook, MySpace, Friendster, Classmates...and probably others I've forgotten about. As grad school became and smaller image in the rear view mirror of life, I stopped checking or updating the sites...nearly forgot about them until today.

While doing my favorite past-time today, cyber-stalking, I googled a name from my past. I'm not sure why I did it, but curiosity got the best of me. At any rate, I put the name in, clicked "Google Search" and just like that, it was there in front of me. The friendster profile. I clicked and read (its always interesting to read how people view themselves in the world) looked at pictures, clicked at some friends. It was nice, cathartic (emotionally purging, not strongly laxative). Anyway, it was fun. So, I'm moving on, getting ready to close then I see a little image that says you are linked to blah through blah and the second blah is NS (five links).

I just laughed....

...and then she marched right up to the hopper.

With all the excitement in my life lately (or lack of), I totally forgot to give a virtual high-five to our own real-life Elle Wood. See, my good friend KT is doing a brief stint in Senator blah-blib'd-blah's office. This is supposed to be a 3-month excursion from her permanent position, a vacation if you will. KT could have easily sat around for those three months, enjoying lattes with Hillary, Nancy, and maybe even Dick (probably not Dick), but she didn't.

See that sat KT in a corner and gave her a random assignment having to do with economic development of the ______ (my listening faded here). That ho took the assignment and ran. So, to make a long story short, in the two months that she has been in the Senate a bill that she initiated was sent to the floor (I hope I'm using the right terminology). Unfortunately, the bill is currently dead, though they may introduce it with other legislation later.

KT, I speak for all of your IU friends and I say great job!!

Snaps for KT....*SNAP* *SNAP* *SNAP* *SNAP* *SNAP*

Tuesday Entry...

I realized earlier this morning that I have not provided an update in a few days. I am beginning to realize how much time and effort it takes to do daily entries. Actually, I have started a few, but have yet to finish them for one reason or another. One is really funny, another is a folksy friendship entry, and yet another I realized is a bit too personal...however, I do want to provide some updates for those of you at home still watching.

DC is absolutely beautiful right now. Its warm, but not oppressive. A cool breeze sweeps through the house. The evenings are even better, bedroom windows wide open. I've been spending as much time outside in the yard as I can. I don't think I am accomplishing much, but I'm getting a hell of a tan, among other things...

Yes, that's right. I managed to get poison ivy. I do wish there was a seedy story, you know, a romp in the woods, but unfortunately, there is not. I was helping the neighbors cut down their rain forest and got into the nasty plant. I don't realize for several days. As you might imagine, I'm not looking too hot. I haven't had the rash since Camp Pottawatomie in the 3rd grade. I had a girlfriend at the time, here name was Tina (random memory). At any rate, I have kept myself busy around the house for a couple days. I finally broke down and went to the urgent care clinic today to get a medical opinion and some meds. Of course I was right and I got my meds. The lotion works well, but I'm honestly concerned about the Prednisone; one of the side effects is depression. I'll just think happy thoughts.

Planning a vacation soon. This year has been my roughest year ever. It has not been one thing, but a culmunation of many things. Dealing with difficult personalities at work, worrying about promotions, selling new business, the incredible amount of work the house needs, the exercise, and even some relationship issues. I spend a lot of time overwhelmed. I know a vacation won't fix anything, but it will sure make the anxiety tolerable.

The Flying Pig Half Marathon. Despite my aches and pains, I am still running a half marathon this Sunday. Trust me, if it weren't for my niece, I would have bagged this sucker long ago. But I'm a good uncle. Leaving early Friday and coming back late Sunday. It a bizarre way, I don't want to leave DC. I have the sensation that I am leaving something behind...hmmm.

Ok, that's all I got for now. Hopefully I will be more responsible and update more often.

You lead, I'll follow...

Taking my Luzernian friends lead, I give you the Wikipedia birthday game. Ok, its really not a game, and you don't get prize, but its interesting and educational. Best yet, I don't have to be creative...this blogging shit is hard. But to my loyal subjects, I am compelled..

Ok, here is the jist....

1. Go to Wikipedia and enter your birthday without the year: February 19

2. List three events that occurred that day:
1847 - The Donner Party is rescued. It is noted that some of the survivors seem to be remarkably well-fed considering their ordeal. (Top that one!!)
1964 - Paul Simon writes "The Sounds of Silence," the song which, in a year and a half, will catapult him and Art Garfunkel to stardom as Simon & Garfunkel. (Irony?)
1968 - National Educational Television (the predecessor to the Public Broadcasting Service in the United States) debuts the children's television program Mister Rogers' Neighborhood (I have nothing here....just astonishment)

3. List two important birthdays:

1946 - Karen Silkwood, American activist (d. 1974) (interesting...)
1960 - Andrew, Duke of York (Not a Prince, but I'll settle)

4. List one death:
2003 - Johnny PayCheck, American singer (b. 1938) (still can't resist this little do wop - "Take this job and shove it..."

5. List one holiday or observance:
Astrology: First day of sun sign Pisces
Astrology: Can also be last day of sun sign Aquarius depending on the time of birth and the astrologer's viewpoint. (I'm a cusp baby...if that explains anything)

Ok, so that was a little fun. Now, you try it. I guarantee you will tell your grandchildren about tit..or not.

Mood: Pretty good, however if one more tall blonde catches me off guard by innocently standing next to me at another cross walk, hes getting a punch in the neck!!

Not your average Thursday...

When I moved to DC in July of 2005 it purely out of my love for politics. Mind you, I do not now nor have I had an interest in running for office or working in a congressional / executive office. I am not even crazy for that "sense of power" thta one gues once they get tothe hill. With few exceptions, I avoid hill staffers like the plaque. Rather, I like the sense of rightness and fairness that can be the byproduct of these amazing bodies. Hand to God, every time I walk by the Capitol I break out in song (if you know me, you know the Capitol has nothing to do with it) and...you know where I'm going here...



...come on, you know damn well you'll be singing that damn song the rest of the day. At any rate, something changed a few years back. At some point rightness and fairness slipped out of the city under the darkness of night to an undisclosed location where until recently it has been hiding.

So, as I move into my third year of existence in this crazy city, I am encouraged by the changes that are occurring around us. Not in who is winning the most recent debate between Republicans and Democrats on Hardball or the latest alleged ruffle between Hillary and Obama, but in the renewed debate on what is good for country. On that note, I leave you with the following video. If you haven't seen it yet, please take the eight minutes. It is Rep Jack Murtha's closing comments last night. They are heartfelt, honest, and unafraid.



Mood: My mood is very good today. Maybe its because I worked from home most of the day or because I'm feeling the effects of all that running, but its very cool!

Two Crazy Bitches....

Arent' these two a lovely lot?

I don't even know how to start this entry. I just keep staring at these two pictures and thinking about how much I really do not like Rosie and Condi....but why?

I really can't think of anything profound to say except I'm glad Rosie is out of another job and I cannot want for the photo-op of Condi with her hand in the air being sworn in before the House Oversight Committee. I really do not think much is going to come out of it, but it will be good TV.

Other notable happenings in my life:

• I've taken to reading again. I resisted it for a while, but now I'm back. Currently I am reading Harry Potter #6 and Kite Runner. We'll see which has a better ending.
• I am completely frustrated with my job. The new manager has not helped and the old bitch is still driving me nuts - no the bitch is not gone! I am really not sure what I am going to do. The program I am supporting wants to hire me, but I have only been with my current firm just over a year. Of course, as attractive as the program job is, working with some of these people for the rest of my career could cause some real damage.
• In one week I pulled two muscles which has put a stop to my gym visits. I still intend on running the Cincinnati Flying Pig Half Marathon next month. I am sure that I will not top my Cherry Blossom time, but running with my niece, I knew that would be the case. Seeking healing hands for my ribs and my neck --anyone???
• From a personal perspective, I am working hard to fit in around the house. Over the past few months I have spent too much time at work and doing other things and spent less time with MKO and the home place. It feels really good, we dug a tree up yesterday. To be honest, I think MKO would like it if there was a balance if you know what I mean...LOL In addition, I have really cut back on the number of hours I am working lately.
• As of yesterday, Steph has been in S. Africa for one week. With only five more to go until she gets home...I am excited. I do hope she is having a blast.
• Thinking Vacation....where? Any ideas?

Ok, well, that's it for now. But before I go, I want to give some shout outs. It seems that folks in Auckland New Zealand, Bonner Springs Kansas, Beijing China, and Luzern Switzerland have become fans...or stalkers??? Thanks for dropping in, leave a note.

I

Category: Holy Shit!!!

I ran across this commercial a week or so ago when I was looking for the "Gay Kiss". I had read the summary, so I knew what to expect, but in the end I still found myself staring at the screen in disbelief. This was obviously not produced for American TV, but in my humble opinion, it is very effective in getting the point across.

Robot Chicken - Giraffe

Happy Monday Morning Everyone!!

I love this cartoon. I mean really, how often do you really get to hear a giraffe curse.

I'm getting ready to schlep to the shower in an attempt to start my week. Hitting trivia tonight at the Wonderland in Col. Heights. This should be a lot of fun sober. The last two times I went I hurt the game organizer's feelings....oops. (in my defense, this guy was wearing skin-tight capri pants)

Weekend recap

Happy 30th Birthday Tracy

Let me start by saying right off that this has been the best weekend I have had in several months! Don't bet me wrong, its not that all the other weekends were bad, but somehow all the stars lined up for a great time.

Friday - Ok, to be honest, this day did not start out well for me. Early on I had an emotional flashback or two that put me on an anxious path (not ambiguous at all..right?). After a roller-coaster of a day I suddenly realized that it didn't have to be that way. I'm not sure what happened, but at some point my whole perspective changed. Not to sound trite, but I decided that I wasn't going to let someone else dictate my happiness (personally or professionally).

As a matter of fact, I was completely calm during the 1.5 hours it took me to drive the 15 miles home from work. Friday night was the key...



After work, MKO and I headed over to Col. Heights to scoop the Cuban for a night on the town. We headed to Rosemary's Tyme for a modest birthday celebration. Hanging out with others was cool, but to be honest, being able to walk around in shorts was the freaking bomb! After ducking out of a cook out in VA, we headed home for an early night.

Saturday - This day was amazing from start to finish. It started at about 7:00 a.m. After sucking down a bit of coffee and leafing through the Sunday's Washington Post (delivered on Saturday if you didn't catch that), I shook MKO out of bed. Cruel I know, but it was crazy nice out and I need to get in a long run and this boy needs sun. So with bike in tow, we headed to the National Mall for a nice 8 mile run. It is really days like this that remind me why I love DC. The tourists, the traffic, the monuments, museums, and even the ever-honking cabs...its all amazing.



After leaving the mall, we hooked up with Steph's man again and headed out to the base for an $8 haircut. Its funny, I know. I did this once before and it was a nightmare. But with my new attitude, I could not have cared less what my hair looked like...well, kinda. It actually turned out really good. We quickly departed en route to my very first visit to Costco. It is true, I have never been to a Costco. After grabbing a few items and a $1.50 hot dog, we headed back toward the fort. Oh, and for those that have never been to a Costco, think Wal-mart in the city. Really, this place was nuts. I saw an old woman standing there contemplating a pack of 30 home air fresheners...how fricking back can her house smell for God's sake. Glad I went ONCE.

Yes, it continues. Headed out to Celebrate Tracy's birthday (again) we head home to chill for a bit. But being that its so nice outside, a car was was necessary. For anyone that knows me, I want a new car soooo bad. Trust me, I have tried every angle, but no luck. So after spending









about 3 hours on the car and OMG...its beautiful...what do you think? I'll keep it another year. (did the truck on Sunday)

After washing up we all headed to Adam's Morgan for a night on the town. A good friend of my recently turned 30 ( and I swear we celebrated it last Saturday), but being a good friend, I headed up to Bourbon on 18th street. This place is actually pretty cool. The vibe is good, music good, and it doesn't get crazy crowded. The only drawback is that I am not drinking right now, so people can get a bit annoying.

Sunday - Despite going to bed at 2:00 a.m., I was back up at 7:30 this morning. There is
something to be said for not being hung-over. Forcing MKO out of bed again, we headed out back to give the truck a good scrub. Looks good, doesn't it?

We finished out the day by meeting a good friend from IU at Eastern Market. We walked around a bit then headed to a sweet rooftop restaurant near the Marine Barracks. We finished by strolling through Capitol Hill (I really miss that neighborhood).


Summary - This weekend was so much fun, and not the kind of fun that one usually things about. I was more focused and productive than I have been in months. Maybe its the sun, the greenery sprouting up everywhere, or a maybe I just like myself better.



Things I miss - Beer!

Saturday open...

Woke up early this morning to a crazy beautiful day here in DC. Have a busy day ahead, but wanted to drop a quick note. Still preparing to run the Cincinnati Flying Pig Half Marathon in early May, so headed out in a bit for a long run (wish my knees luck), then to the base for a haircut (wish me luck), and finally to Costco (wish mankind luck). Actually, I've never been to a Costco, but I imagine that it is the Wal-mart for city-folk.

Other than that, mood is very good today.

Recent Obsession:
Chemical Romance, The Black Parade

Oh My God, they killed my AIM guy...those bastards!

For all of you worker bees out there that refuse to do anything at work, but work...turn away. You do not want to know how the other half lives.

This morning I signed on to my laptop, and yes it is a work computer. Anyway, I run through the motions. I open the wireless card, open the Internet explorer to the drudereport (one of my guilty pleasure) and eventually I check the work e-mail account to make sure that I still have a job. At some point during this process AOL AIM starts up. It is not something that I intentionally open, but its there...like an old friend. Well, that old friend did not come around today.

You see, this is my own fault. As a rule, we are not allowed to access any chat services via our laptops. However, somehow, when my new machine was configured they left that door open and I walked through it. Don't get me wrong, I do not spend all day chatting, as a matter of fact, my buddy list is quite sparse. But it is there, it was my little place in the cyber world. I even went so far as to create my own little identity with animations, backgrounds, and even a dog on occasion (yeah, I know what your thinking 14 yr old girl).

So, dumb ass me signed on to the company network yesterday to access some files from our corporate shared drive. That was it, in seconds it was over. The system realized that the program was on my machine and denied me access.

I am going to miss that little guy!