Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty.....

Ok, well maybe it is not been that bad, but for anyone who has worked for the federal government, there is uneasiness about abandoning the safety and security of the bureaucratic black hole. Two weeks ago today, I did just that and to my surprise, I survived. However, the week leading up to my departure was at minimum, bizarre.

First let me start with a little advice to those considering a career change; never, and I mean NEVER give a month notice. I made such a mistake back in December. It was the right thing to do...right? WRONG.

Picture this;

The Notice: In a role worthy of a best actor nod (watch out Jake...grr), I went to my supervisor and with great sorrow in my voice and compassion in my eyes, I informed her that I had decided to depart the (stealing a line from Pie Pants) blah blibdy blah blah agency. Her response: "Thank God, you could not be leaving at a better time. This is not the place for someone with your drive and talent". Oh no she didn't, this bitch totally steals my thunder and whats more, obviously aspiring to take the gold statuette for best dramatic performance by a bitter bitch playing the role of a supportive senior government cog, is truly genuine. She actually gets up and hugs me. Things could not have gone better. I walk out skipping.

Three/Two Weeks To Go: Its the week between Christmas and New Years and everyone, well at least 70% of the agency is gone. I spend the week working my ass off trying to make a dent in the files on my desk. I meet with boss lady, who by the way is still so supportive I want to puke, and go over a laundry list of items to take care of before I leave. I could not believe how extensive, but I the one that volunteered to give the four week notice. I ask for and receive the priority for each item. I then hit the list with a vengeance. All is good....I feel good and I get an excellent X-mas gift from MKO.

Two Weeks to Go: I'm now at that point where just about everyone knows that I am leaving. All is going smooth. Isn't it terrible that the only time people make you feel welcome is when you’re leaving? It is late in the week and something weird starts to happen. I keep getting pulled aside by colleagues wanting to know where I am going and what I am going to be doing all while slipping me their business card. T

The next day in the middle of a team meeting all hell breaks loose. My supervisor wants to know how my final tasks are progressing and I give what I think is a positive report....really I didn't have much left to do.

Boss: When will task X be complete? (Mind you this is the lowest priority item)

Me: It will be done by next Friday.

Boss: IT NEEDS TO BE DONE BEFORE YOU LEAVE!

Me (internal voice): What the f***?

Me: I don't see a problem with it being done before next Friday. The only problem I can see is if something goes wrong with priority #1 Project.

Boss: (rolls eyes), just make sure it’s done.

Pissed, I go back to my desk and finish this crucial project before I left for the day.

Forward Final Day: What in the hell is going on???? It is Friday, January 20...D day. I have completed the work I was assigned, trained staff on ongoing projects, and cleaned out my desk. So I sit and wait, I know that boss lady will be around soon to give me an awkward goodbye....I sit and I wait. Its 3:15, I know it is coming soon....I start to twitch a little...how long will this take. She leaves at 3:45 so I know it will have to be soon...I sit and I wait. That bitter bitch trumped me again, now seeking the statuette for best bitch within the federal government, giving Condi a run for her money!!

Moral of the Story: Never give a four week notice. The reason for this is simple your boss, whether it be male/female/government manager, is dying to wear a couture Coco Chanel dress and $100,000,000 worth of diamonds on the red carpet in March.