One of the reasons that I don't blog more often is that I don't see my entries as diary, instead I see them as story driven. The problem is that by time I write the entry, something else has happened or I have lost interest. Well, I'm going to try one tonight that is a bit more brief, but covers a few topics...we'll see how it goes.
- Christmas - I'm sad. That's right, I said it - I am hide in a cave and hate the whole fucking world sad - I miss MKO pretty bad. Of course it doesn't help that I am sitting in the middle of a desert either if you know what I mean. I'm pretty good at work and around Friends of hiding my personal life and masking my feelings, but the sadness is there and it is pretty profound. I keep telling myself that it will get better and I'm sure it will, but getting better means putting that part of my life behind me and I don't want to do that. I miss the familiarity of our life and two cats that are the closest things to kids I'd ever have. I have tried to maintain an upbeat but this Christmas thing is kicking my ass.
- Oh Yeah, the War - By time anyone gets around to reading this Christmas day will have come and gone and you will have found out if I got "hit"or not. I am not saying this in jest, this place is crazy scary today. Typically the insurgents strike us on 1) major American holidays, 2) major Muslim holidays, and 3) other significant events...well, let me tell you the stars are aligned for a good time tonight. You see, tomorrow is Christmas day, which by the way slightly conflicts with the Muslim religion. Add to that this week is Eid, the celebration that begins with the full moon marking the end of Ramadan. Simple enough, right...be aware...nothing more nothing less. But wait...theres a third. This week marks the 1 year anniversary of Saddam's execution. In short - it is going to be a bumpy 48 hours.
- Breaking-up with the Father-in-Law - Because your gay and you can't technically get married (Ok, some states you can) most people don't think of gay couples as having in-laws and up until recently, I guess I never put much thought into it either. Well, its simply not true. Though I never called him that for fear of his poor heart stopping, I did consider MKO's father to be the closest thing I ever had to a father. MKO kinda had the same situation on the mother side, so it always made me feel good to hear him call my mother "Mom". Without judgement MKO's dad always respected each of us as individuals and our relationship and God knows I tried that mans patience. But what I do know is that he loves me like a son. After what I deemed an appropriate amount of time, I sat down and wrote him a letter. I did not delve into any personal or relationship issues I just told him how much I respected him, how I thought he was an amazing father and friend, and how much I had grown to love him. It took me a bit of time, several drafts, and more than a few gulps but I finished it and sent it off. I realized when I was writing it that I may never see him again and that makes breaking up a bit more suckier.
- Baghdad is Cold - Holy Christ, it never occurred to me that the Middle East could get cold, but it does. Maybe I am just acclimated to the heat during the day, but at night its crazy cold. Add to that, there is no such thing as insulation here. You just put a sweater on. Well, I need a sweater for my damn room!
- New House - Starting tonight I have new digs. I'm kind of excited because I currently life in a mud-hut. Its a bit of an exaggeration, but seriously folks, its a hut. I can't tell you specifically where it is or anything about its past, but it is nice. There is a lot of work still to be done on it, but I will be so glad to get out of here.
- Vacation - For my first R&R I am going to Cape Town South Africa. Though I am very excited about the journey, I am also sad that I will be going it alone. These kind of vacations and experiences are the kind of things a couple works years to achieve and here I am am, going it alone. I will not be deterred though!!! This job is affording me opportunities that I will never have again and if dumb ass wants to sit around and wonder what good thing might be coming around the next corner then go for it - I'm going to S. Africa....hehe, that's what you all really want to see...i know...
Well, that's it for now. I apologize for being so melancholy, but I guess its best to get it out. I hope that everyone back in the states has a great holiday season and to those in Poland, Switzerland, N. Korea, Thailand, Australia, Canada, Brazil, Germany, Italy, Israel, Moskow...ect...enjoy December???
