June 28...

Journey Begins
My journey has begun. Early Saturday morning I flew out of Kuwait to Dubai then onto Frankfurt. Both flights were good and once again Emirates proved they are leaps and bounds above United in customer comfort and service (thank you for letting me sleep).

Lessons Learned
I understand that Americans are a bit ethnocentric and I try to overcome that personally, but I still get surprised by my behavior when something simple or common completely stumps me - see: I'm a moron.

1. Excuse me, but what country am I in?- Sounds silly, but unfortunately that question came out of my mouth within an hour of me arriving in Frankfurt. You see, in Germany instructions to say ... the GPS in the rental car... are in in German. For a simple guy like me, that was easy enough to fix, simply change the language setting. So here I sit at a gas station outside the airport finally nailing that task when I realize that there are no maps for Germany. How can that be, I rented the car in Germany??? Well the little secret kept from me was that the rest of the world refers to Germany as Deutschland.
2. OMG, Sophie (German friend), did I drive on the Autobahn? - I was very excited about the possibility that I drove on the Autobahn. As a boy growing up in Indiana me and my brothers always dreamed about the fast cars we should drive, I was always partial to the Porsche. Anyway, Sophie' response was a bit of bad news. It turns out that the Autobahn is not an actual road, rather, it is the word that German's use for highway. The good news is that most Americans won't know that little nugget of information so I'll still sound cool back home.

That's it for now. Sophie and Anne are waiting for me. We are in Chemnitz now and we're driving up to Berlin today for Gay Pride.

The Last Shout...(maybe)

Since arriving in Baghdad last year I found that I stopped counting hours in a day or even days in a week because neither really matter. Due to the nature of life in the International Zone and our living and work situation we never really stop working and never really stop socializing – there is no line that differentiates the two. As a result, I started counting was the number of R&Rs that I have left in me (read: how long can I take this shit?).

When I came to Baghdad last year it was with the understanding that I would commit a year to this project and to Iraq and at the end of that year I would reevaluate the situation and make a determination as to future. This is the point where I find myself now. As I round the corner of trips out of Iraq, I realize that after this current trip I only have one remaining – then the decision! From the beginning I planned that the last R&R would be spent home in DC in preparation for a possible return to normal life. After Michael and I split last year it was clear that a trip home would be a requirement to settle remaining financial and legal issues. Which all of this brings me to this entry – the Last Shout!

Because this is potentially my last trip I wanted it to be significant and I wanted it to be Europe. Since I could not think of just one place to go or one thing to see I decided to repeat the South Africa model and rent a car and just drive. I am in Kuwait now and by 1:00 pm tomorrow I will begin my journey in Frankfurt Germany and 20 days later I will end up in Amsterdam where I will begin making my way back to Baghdad. The map below illustrates those cities or countries that I want to visit along the way. Some cities I may spend a day or two in while others may simply be a drive through.

I Can See Clearly Now; really I can...

I did it, I went under the knife - well, a series of three machines at least. This past week while in Montreal I had Lasik Vision Correction done at The Montreal Eye Clinic or La Clinique De L'ceil De Montreal. Mostly because I hate wearing glasses and I am horrible about removing my contact lenses as scheduled, I have wanted to have this done for years. The day I went in was on a complete whim. I wouldn't recommend this to everyone or anyone for that matter but I just walked to the concierge (Chantale) and asked her for a recommendation. So, within 48 hours I was sitting in a chair about to get my eyes corrected.

It was honestly a cinch and with the exception of getting braces the best decision I've made. I highly recommend it to anyone even considering it.

Exhausted...

Today will go down as one of the most adventurous days of my life. I'm not sure why I did it (actually, I probably do) but early this afternoon I climbed the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Now for those reading this that reside in the United States that may mean that you took an elevator to the lookout deck or perhaps walked up a little latter for a better view. Well in Sydney for a mere pittance, you can actually "climb" the bridge. It was by far the neatest experience of my life....yes, my life. Unfortunately we couldn't take cameras, but they did snap a few. I''ll post them once I get them scanned. In the mean time, check out the website...its crazy fun.

A Bridge, an Opera House, and 2 ODs in 24 Hours...

To all of my faithful readers, I have safely made it to Sydney Australia and my first reaction is: this place is beautiful. Not only beautiful, but remarkably clean. I was chatting with a native (in a pub of course) and he indicated that it was a result of the 2000 Olympics - I say DC should win the bid for the next games!

So far I have taken it pretty easy here. The time difference from the states (DC) is 15 hours and 8 for Baghdad so I am completely jet-lagged. I am wide awake at 4 am and dead asleep at 4 pm; which in the bigger picture is no big deal. As a matter of fact it has made for some interesting adventures. As the title would indicate, I have seen the Opera House, the Sydney Harbour Bridge, the AMAZING Botanic Garden and 2 over doses - all in 24 hours. Ya see, I'm staying in Kings Cross which I did not know WAS the equivalent of Skid Row in LA. It is a lot different now, so they say, but still rather sketchy. The bars go here til 5 am and if you walk around long enough you can see a couple needle pushes, pills popped, and CPR. Fortunately there were no casualties, but it was a bizarre experience nonetheless.

Plenty of pictures to come...

One of the more Bizarre Moments...

Picture this: Steph and I am completely blowing off work this one afternoon last week and we decide to head to the Green Bean inside the old US Embassy Compound inside the International Zone. As a notable point for those unfamiliar with the compound the US Embassy is currently being housed in Saddam's Presidential Palace while a new one is being constructed. So we are just walking into the compound and we come across this guy with a bunch of rifles strapped over both shoulders. Being in a light-hearted mood we start joking loud enough so that he can hear "hey, did you just get fired today" then I'd respond (as him), "leave me alone, I'm in a hurry to get to the clock tower" - well, we thought it was funny. But appreciates the humor and stops to chat for a minute. It turns out that the guys that he is carrying are "props" owned by the US State Department and are used for training and education purposes. He goes on to inform us that one of the guns he is carrying was once owned by Uday Hussein.

First reaction: How fricking cool is this. I'm holding one of Uday Hussein's guns. Just the historical aspect alone is significant - let alone I'm about about to walk into his dad's house.

Second reaction: Holy crap, how many people did he murder with this thing?

Erbil, Kurdistan Region...

I'm being drug out the door so that I don't miss my PSD for R&R. Oh yeah, in case I didn't mention yet, I'm headed to Sydney Australia. I'm pretty excited and franklyI need it. Baghdad is nice right now and relatively quiet, but I need to see green grass, normal people (no M9s or M14s) and have a beer that doesn't taste like it has been on a shelf for 30 years...not that I'm complaining of course; beer is beer!

Trip to Erbil

This picture above was taken at an antique shop which sits in the Citadel. We visited this historical site during a visit to Erbil which is the capital city of the Kurdistan Region. The Citadel is this massive compound that was built in layers over archaelogical ruins of several consecutive settlements which rises out of the center of the city. Even though the Citadel lays in ruins compared to the rest of the city, it has been continuously inhabited for more than 6000 years. The goverment is working to restore or at least put it to some use, but as a rule there is always one family living inside.

For those interested in learning a little bit, do yourself a favor and google Erbil (Arbil) and the Kurdistan Region. It was during the mid-late 1980s that Saddam began an aggressive genocide campaign, called al-Anfal Campaign, on the Kurdish people. This 3 year campaign saw the elimination of 4000 villages and an estimated 170,000 deaths. As a result of the Persian Gulf War in 1991, Saddam retreated but instituted very strict embargos against the north with the intent of starving the people to death. And because Kurdistan is technically part of Iraq, they were also impacted by the UN's embargo against Iraq. But, as I learned this week, these are a very strong people. Even after 3 decades of domination by Saddam, the UN and its own parliment, the region is the most progressive in all of Iraq. One can ride around freely and enjoy the shops, restaurants, and even a stroll down the street.

Oh yeah, I couldn't resist. I bought the sword.

Morning Time-out

Its early Tuesday here in Baghdad and I'm waiting for a co-worker to get ready to go. I got a semi-frantic call last last night asking if I could come in the office early to make some changes to a training brief that is set to go live at 10:00 am. I said sure of course and popped up early only to find that the poor soul that made the request stayed up too late working on other things and overslept - I can tell this is going to be a long day.

On other fronts, we survived another rocket attack this week. It is funny how the mind works. I only hear them after they have struck, but even then I don't really do much. I was laying in bed when the first hit. I thought to myself, hmmm, that sounded like a rocket but before I could get that thought out, another, then another, then another. Obviously I was fortunate wasn't impacted, but it did make me think about how normal this place becomes.

In other news, it looks like I am off on another adventure. I sealed the deal yesterday on my next R&R; I am headed to Australia. Every since I was a kid I wanted to go down under - hehe. Anyway, the trip is set and I leave for Sydney on March 17 and will return on or about April 1. I will definitely be taking my camera and I will try to be better at posting throughout the trip. If anyone has been there and had some good tips, please send them my way. You can click the contact button under my picture to the right and it will go straight into my e-mail.

That's all for now. I hope everyone is doing well, keeping warm, and happy.

Oh, and an adorable picture I took in Bangkok. A dog waiting on a call - how funny?

And We're Back...

It took a few days (a week to be exact) but I finally feel like I have my groove back. I am back to hectic days and sleepless night; which actually feels familiar. Following the pictures of Cape Town I started to develop a slide presentation for Bangkok and realized it wasn't worth it. I can sum it up for anyone that is interested: Filthy. however, for my own entertainment and hopefully your enjoyment, I had the following pictures taken of me.

Betrayed...

Look for the dual meaning

The Most Bizarre Starbucks Ever...

I am kind of stranded in the Kuwait airport today. It has nothing to do with weather or anything like that; really it was a scheduling oversight on my part. So I have been sitting at this Starbucks now for about 8 hours and it really has not been all that bad. The seats are comfortable, there is coffee, food, and the internet - all basic needs are met. Now you have to be mindful that there are not a lot of American's running around Kuwait let alone the airport. However, I'm sitting here and there has been this steady stream of American's in what seems to be some organized chaos listening to ITunes and talking goverment acronym steak, none of which I am familar with. It is like there is some sort of American mafia and they keep interviewing different people. I have been approached a couple of times, but I merely point behind to the crowd of bizarre people and they scurry off. It is some sort of US Federal entity but I'm not sure.

Bizarre...

One Vacation, Two Worlds...

Well, I am on my way back to Iraq for another six weeks and as crazy as it might sound, I'm actually missing the place a little bit. What I miss are the people, the work, and the ability to plunge my head in the sand and forget the world around me. That said, this has been an amazing trip. The short story is that I went to Cape Town South Africa for a week and then onto Bangkok Thailand for another week. Well, the long story is that I decided early on to make an adventure out of it. Being that I have never traveled alone before I was nervous and then add to that the fact that I was going without Michael which was very sad at times. Knowing these two factors could doom my trip, I decided to jam in absolutly anything and everything that I possibly could; within my budget of course. I also made a lot of friends, which I'll highlight later, that gave me great advice on what to do and what to avoid. For now I am going to start with pictures of South Africa. These are not just of Cape Town but also Franshhoek and Stellenbosch, both in the winelands. Because I did so much I will have to put this up in phases. The pictures below were tken in South Africa.

Missing Michael...

Just wrapping up the first leg of my vacation and hard as I try, I can't stop thinking how much Michael would have enjoyed this trip.

"We're flying first class....."

Ok, I had the Fergie song in my head all the way to Duabi. Thought some strange luck most nearly all of my flights got upgraded to first class. To me I thought this just meant that my seat might be a bit bigger and I would get a free glass of wine (or 7). Well, seems that there is more to it.

I arrived in the Dubai International Airport at around 6 am and believe it or not, this place was nuts. It is crazy packed with people laying all over the floors. It reminded me of what you see on the news at O'hare each Christmas. So I walk in and I happen to look up at a sign. Turns out they have a little lounge for first class passengers. The frosted glass doors opened and holy crap, I was transported into a totally different world. One of flat screen plasma TVs, full buffet, and a complete open bar. And yes you would all be proud, I drank at 6:30 am like it was last call in 10 minutes.

Thats it, just thought I'd throw it out there. I am also attached a couple pics. As you can see I have still not mastered my camera.

"We're flying first class.....

I'm back, kinda...

I have not updated in nearly a month - wow. I know that it is not a really good excuse, but honestly I just wanted to be left alone. Getting past the idea of being without Michael has been very difficult. Even after a pretty honest and emotional visit to DC last week I am still gripping on to any and every shred of hope. I know, I can own it - I'm pathetic!

At any rate, I have shaved my head and I'm heading to South Africa. I'm a bit nervous, but I'm going to run straight at this adventure.

Big props to Stephanie too for being there when I got back to the IZ this week - your a kick ass friend.

Christmas 2007...

I was a little apprehensive, but today has turned out to be a pretty good day. The measures that the military had taken in the two previous days made a huge impact and as a result there were no significant attacks on the green zone. I resisted the temptation of laying in bed all day and went into the office around noon. I am glad I did because when I got there I realized that the Iraqi restaurants were not open (there are very few places in the IZ where Iraqi's can eat) so I quickly went to my dining facility to pick up box lunches. It was kinda neat because I took back a traditional Christmas dinner which included turkey, stuffing, green beans, corn, green beans, and of course pumpkin pie. We all sat around and ate our lunches out of white styrofoam, but it was pretty cool.

This evening we went to the main dining facility at the Presidential Palace. I don't go here too often because I honestly want to keep it as a bit of a special treat, but this places does holidays very well - as you can see from the picture above. Tonight I passed on the traditional dinner and went for the lobster, prime rib, shrimp and sweet potatoes. I twas nice to sit with friends and enjoy the holiday music and sip on non-alcoholic champagne.

This was not the best Christmas that I have ever had, but it did have the potential to be the worst; but I wouldn't let it - I just keep looking forward. Tomorrow I will go out into the red zone again. I enjoy these trips, not because of the danger, but because they are an opportunity to get more involved; to become part of a bigger solution.

Well, its getting late here and so I'll wind down.

December 24 Roundup...

One of the reasons that I don't blog more often is that I don't see my entries as diary, instead I see them as story driven. The problem is that by time I write the entry, something else has happened or I have lost interest. Well, I'm going to try one tonight that is a bit more brief, but covers a few topics...we'll see how it goes.

• Christmas - I'm sad. That's right, I said it - I am hide in a cave and hate the whole fucking world sad - I miss MKO pretty bad. Of course it doesn't help that I am sitting in the middle of a desert either if you know what I mean. I'm pretty good at work and around Friends of hiding my personal life and masking my feelings, but the sadness is there and it is pretty profound. I keep telling myself that it will get better and I'm sure it will, but getting better means putting that part of my life behind me and I don't want to do that. I miss the familiarity of our life and two cats that are the closest things to kids I'd ever have. I have tried to maintain an upbeat but this Christmas thing is kicking my ass.

• Oh Yeah, the War - By time anyone gets around to reading this Christmas day will have come and gone and you will have found out if I got "hit"or not. I am not saying this in jest, this place is crazy scary today. Typically the insurgents strike us on 1) major American holidays, 2) major Muslim holidays, and 3) other significant events...well, let me tell you the stars are aligned for a good time tonight. You see, tomorrow is Christmas day, which by the way slightly conflicts with the Muslim religion. Add to that this week is Eid, the celebration that begins with the full moon marking the end of Ramadan. Simple enough, right...be aware...nothing more nothing less. But wait...theres a third. This week marks the 1 year anniversary of Saddam's execution. In short - it is going to be a bumpy 48 hours.

• Breaking-up with the Father-in-Law - Because your gay and you can't technically get married (Ok, some states you can) most people don't think of gay couples as having in-laws and up until recently, I guess I never put much thought into it either. Well, its simply not true. Though I never called him that for fear of his poor heart stopping, I did consider MKO's father to be the closest thing I ever had to a father. MKO kinda had the same situation on the mother side, so it always made me feel good to hear him call my mother "Mom". Without judgement MKO's dad always respected each of us as individuals and our relationship and God knows I tried that mans patience. But what I do know is that he loves me like a son. After what I deemed an appropriate amount of time, I sat down and wrote him a letter. I did not delve into any personal or relationship issues I just told him how much I respected him, how I thought he was an amazing father and friend, and how much I had grown to love him. It took me a bit of time, several drafts, and more than a few gulps but I finished it and sent it off. I realized when I was writing it that I may never see him again and that makes breaking up a bit more suckier.

• Baghdad is Cold - Holy Christ, it never occurred to me that the Middle East could get cold, but it does. Maybe I am just acclimated to the heat during the day, but at night its crazy cold. Add to that, there is no such thing as insulation here. You just put a sweater on. Well, I need a sweater for my damn room!

• New House - Starting tonight I have new digs. I'm kind of excited because I currently life in a mud-hut. Its a bit of an exaggeration, but seriously folks, its a hut. I can't tell you specifically where it is or anything about its past, but it is nice. There is a lot of work still to be done on it, but I will be so glad to get out of here.

• Vacation - For my first R&R I am going to Cape Town South Africa. Though I am very excited about the journey, I am also sad that I will be going it alone. These kind of vacations and experiences are the kind of things a couple works years to achieve and here I am am, going it alone. I will not be deterred though!!! This job is affording me opportunities that I will never have again and if dumb ass wants to sit around and wonder what good thing might be coming around the next corner then go for it - I'm going to S. Africa....hehe, that's what you all really want to see...i know...

Well, that's it for now. I apologize for being so melancholy, but I guess its best to get it out. I hope that everyone back in the states has a great holiday season and to those in Poland, Switzerland, N. Korea, Thailand, Australia, Canada, Brazil, Germany, Italy, Israel, Moskow...ect...enjoy December???

And then there was one...

After a grueling two weeks, and yes they were intense, Stephanie is making her way to South Dakota to spend the holidays with her family. Having her these past two weeks has made this little spot in the desert very tolerable.

We had a great conversation last night about our lives where we are and how both of our worlds have been turned upside down over the past year and how despite it all, we continue to trek through the storm.

We have all heard the saying that"if life gives you lemons, then make lemonade". Well, it is kinda true. When Steph got here earlier this month I was forced to deal with some pretty intense personal issues. Adding to that, my job freakin insane; its truly a love-hate relationship. She wasn't on the ground 30 minutes and there we were, making lemonade.

2008 is going to be amazing, I can feel it. I am still reluctant to let go of things from the past, but as each day passes, I'm becomming more excitied about grabbing onto what is next...inevitabley one arm will be stronger than the other.

What sucks is...

Running across your ex's new online profile and finding out that you weren't even their type!