Its 5:14 am and I can't sleep. The work here is not getting any more intense, rather more complicated. Its going on 8 weeks now and sometimes I am really not sure what I am doing here.

Fanny got in late Wednesday. Its kind of funny how it was the high point of my time here as well as the low. The high for obvious reasons; she is a fantastic friend and an all out cool chick to roll with. The low has nothing to do with her, rather she reminds me of the life I left back in DC. I don't regret my decision to come here and giving the chance, I would not reverse my decision, but in spending time with her over the past few days I am taken back to the nights we would walk from the apt on the Hill to Hawk & Dove to watch dancing boy, or those 3:30 am amazing dinners she would cook because Pizza-by-the-Slice wasn't gonna cut it, or the Baltimore water taxi ride that really cemented us as friends.

Over the past few weeks my life has changed in a way that I could have never imagined. I am in one of the most fascinating places in one of the most important times in history and I am still stunned by the break-up. Having Fanny here has made the situation real. I am beginning to think that breaking-up is like quitting smoking, you never want to tell anyone or talk about it in the beginning.

Well, morning prayers have started, so I guess thats my sign. For my five readers, good night.

So, Thats that...

I have spent the past couple of weeks holding out hope that things would work out at home, but tonight I got handed a heavy dose of reality. So I got to spend the past two hours on the phone itemizing the past seven years of my life then negotiating financial terms and the distribution personal items - typical Saturday night, right? Its all right. This is not what I wanted, but I am going to take it in stride. I love my job and have never been more excited about what I am doing. I will spend the next two years traveling the world and finding some sort of peace in who I am - I know, sounds corny!!!

On a positive note, today was a beautiful day here in Iraq. The temperature was mild and the winds were low. There were a few car bombs, but they were a bit distant. I am surprised however about how cold it gets here at night. They warn me that it gets worse, but coming from N. Indiana, I think I can manager a winder in Iraq. In other exciting news, Stephanie is heading out next week, which I am looking too. Everyone needs a Steph in their life. In early December I am heading to Amman, Jordan for a conference. That will cut my time short with Steph, but it is an amazing opportunity.

Now, what your all waiting for...the vacation decision. Though I have not decided, I am leaning toward Greece or Italy. My goal is travel over my birthday (Feb. 19) but that's a long time in Iraq.

Heading out, again...

I'm heading out on another "mission" this morning and for the first time I am feeling anxious. Perhaps because this is my first journey alone or because the expectations on me are higher...not sure.

At any rate, wish me luck.

Another Day in Iraq...

Its 11:45 pm and I am just getting back to my "hooch". I can't tell you how much I hate that term. I haven't had a lot of time of update, but I am constantly "planning on doing it tonight". Well, its finally tonight and I am a bit tired. But, since I cannot call each of you individually, I just wanted to drop a quick not to say hi.

Things are going very well here and even though I work a lot, I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world. I am taking more and more trips out to the red zone, which kinda worries me a bit. Not because of anything specific, its just the statistics; the more often you go out the higher your odds of an incident.

On a more positive note, I want everybodies help. I have been in Iraq since October 21. The funny thing is, I was supposed to return the following week. Well, fortunately for me, that never happened. I had another trip scheduled for home in early December, but because of a conference in Amman, Jordan, that is not going to take place either. What I have decided is that God does not want me to go back to DC and frankly, I'm cool with that. Here's where you come in. I need a vacation destination.

I am taking a vacation in late January or early February. I want to go some place that is reasonable, but fantastic. The only condition I have is that it is warm. I have had a lot of suggestions from my colleagues, but I would like to hear from you. Use the e-mail address below to tell me where I should go and why.

IUMPA2005@gmail.com

Trips to the Red Zone...

I'm headed out into the "red zone" again this morning. For those that don't know, the red zone is the opposite of the green zone. It is not secured and frankly it is not safe for anyone, including Iraqi's. I will go in with an amazing amount of protection, but of course there is risk regardless. It is pretty hard to sleep the night before a trip.

Everything else is running smooth. We launched our website and application this weekend, so I am pretty excited about that. We did suffer a pretty heavy mortar attack, which I can say because it was covered by the media. And as far as whats next, I didn't forget about my list, so I will start putting my thoughts down this evening.

Sunday, November 25...

The Thanksgiving weekend is nearly over and I think I have survived yet another. This was a little more different than those past, but not completely different. Isn't it funny how a mother to one is mother to all. As I was feeling a bit sad for myself because I was not among my family I thought about all the mothers over here and how much they miss their children. But we know we are all in this together so there is a family-like quality as well.

One other tradition that I missed, but don't miss....the weekend after shopping trip. I have been following it on the news here and realized, "dam, we American's have strange habits!".

Thanks for your e-mail comments. I will hopefully have up the functionality that allows readers to click a button to submit an e-mail.

Thanksgiving Turkey and a Mortars Attack...

I woke up this morning knowing that I was going to completely dread this day. This is the first holiday since the split and I had no idea how I was going to deal with it. Up until today I didn't have to thinking about it. The one good thing about being is Baghdad is that it is very easy to forget about your problems. First off, is is easy to look around and see that your problems are minor compared to others and second, when your working 14 hour days you don't have a lot of free time to think about those sorts of things. You march on an dhope like hell there are no significant breaks in the day. However, on days such as this, you can't escape your own memories.

My day start off slow. The alarm went off only to be complete ignored. I simply laid there staring at the ceiling thinking to myself, "why am I here?" "Is there a purpose?" When I left DC five weeks ago I was in absolute bliss. My personal life was in order, I had been selected for a coveted project, I even felt that I was evoloving as a person; I was finally growing up and I had a plan for the future. I was focused on our future. However, as I lay there this morning I realized that its just me now, it is my future and I have to decide what I want to do with it. Most can relate to this, but when your a couple nearly everything you do or every decision you make is a joint effort. When to go on vacation, what car to buy, where to move, should you take this job, etc. Personally, even with myself, I always saw it as a crutch; an excuse in the event you make the wrong decision. However, you grow to rely on this counsel.

An hour and a half later I roll out of bed. Considering I have not taken a day off since arriving here, I did not rush out the door. After an hour or so of prep work, I head into work. Usually I am one of the first into the office, so rolling in two hours late was a bit intimidating. I was anticipating a certain degree of razzing, but I got now. Instead as I turned into the office all of my Iraqi team members approached me one by one to shake my hand and wish me a Happy Thanksgiving (of course there variations in pronunciations). This folks made my day! I really like these guys! After an hour or so of work we all convened downstairs for a catered lunch and a disucssion on what Thanksgiving means to us Americans.

So, my day is getting better. It is about 5:00 and I am meeting with the Office Manager to go over our web application and all hell breaks loose. I have heard car bombs go off several times, but this was no car bomb. Because we are in an environment where gun fire and blasts in the distance are common, there is little conversation. But as we sat there and heard the first explosion - we paused - then the second - we paused again - the third....the look in one anothers eyes indicated that the meeting was over. As we ran out to join the others huddled in a stairway I wasn't afraid, rather curious. It wasn't until the lock down was lifted 3 1/2 hours later that I realized how terrified I should have been. (if your interested in hearing the specifics then e-mail me)

I find the day has come in full circle. I am sitting here now thinking about my life hoping like hell that tomorrow will be another 14 hour day.

Liberal Media - not in Baghdad...

It may sound hard to believe, but one the thing that is not talked about here in Iraq is U.S. politics. Don’t get me wrong, you will hear an occasional light-hearted jab directed toward the President and of course Hillary is fair game, but for the most part there is no serious conversation about the Presidential race, the senate and Lord knows congress doesn't make the list. So, for a guy who loves politics and has spent the last two years in DC, this is pleasant surprise. Though I haven’t spend a lot of time thinking about it, it wasn't until today that it occurred to me why we are not more interested in the race here: because there is no media here telling us we have to be.

This afternoon I was showing my pictures from the trip to Karbala. Being a native Iraqi he was able to teach me about the Prophet Muhammad and the holy site the Shrine of Husayn ibn Ali. The pictures depict us at different stages of the day such as traveling in the Blackhawk, being received the Chief of Police and then by the Governor of Karbala, the town and its people, and three farms. In addition to these planned visits two press conferences were held. It was when I was thumbing (clicking to be exact) through the pictures that I had an “ah ha” moment; a revelation about the media.



There are some important things to note about this meeting in Karbala. First of all Karbala is the only province that has been completely handed over to the Iraqi Military. The handover happened took place on October 29. The purpose of our trip was to demonstrate to the Governor, the people of Iraq, and the rest of the world that the U.S. Government is the first in line to establish business relationships. As mentioned in my previous entry we were accompanied by representative from the Prime Minister’s office, the Department of Defense, the State Department and members of the U.S. business community. To capture this historic event many – the rise of a province heavily affected by the way – two press conferences were held. Please see the picture below and tell me what is missing.

It is a bit small, but what you don't see is CNN, MSNBC, BBC, ABC, NBC, CBS, AP, Washington Post, LA Times, Fox News....but wait...this is a signficant event. The United States Government is doing what it has been slammed for not doing; rebuilding Iraq.

Security, Security, Security...

Due to security, I am making a few minor changes. I have removed the "Friends Blogs" link and the ability to comment. Sounds silly, but this is done for safety of the commentor. This might change, but right now any information is useful information.

One Crazy Day...

To be honest, I had no intention of making another entry. After the phone call this morning (see previous entry), I was resigned to take cover and wait for the emotional storm to pass. Fortunately for me however life in the IZ doesn't work like that. The reason I am making a second entry is because the experience I had today here in Iraq I really want to share this experience.

So, as the story goes I got a phone call last night asking if I was up for a trip out of the IZ. This was a luck break for me but since none of the other guys in the office will set foot out, I got the call and quickly snapped up the opportunity. Now, I need to be very careful about what information I give out from the military perspective, but I am comfortable saying that I spent the day with a high ranking official from the Department of Defense, the Governor of Karbala, a high ranking official from the Prime Minister's office ,and media like you wouldn't believe. The purpose of meeting is to show that Americans, and eventually other countries, are interested in investing in Iraq's business.

Early this morning we boarded a blackhawk to Karbala. I have never flown in a helicopter nor did I have any desire to do so, but I sould not show weakness. I was expecting a horribly bumpy ride, but it was quite different. It was smooth the entire way. The flight out lasted awhile (can't even tell how long), but it was awesome. I was finally able to see what Baghdad looks like, what the Iraqi countryside looks like and on top of that some pretty amazing castles and mosques. The evidence of the 2003 war is very obvious. For me, when I think of war or targets, I think of military installations, leadership centers, or some other high profile location. However this is not necessarily the case. As a result you see the impact of the bombings all over the country. I could go on and on, but in short, it was an amazing trip. I was privileged to have spent five hours with the leaderships of the US, Iraq and of Karbala. We toured farms, factories, and small villages. Because of the immense security force surrounding us, we were able to walk around without personal armor and to interact with the Iraqi's. I took several pictures but unfortunately, I cannot post them. I did post one of me, but only because I am so damn cute in it.

What I learned from today is that our lives are dynamic yet not indefinite. After a rough morning I had the opportunity to overcome and to give of myself to my company, the US government, and to Iraq. Don't get me wrong, I am still sad but I still have a great friends and family.

A Significant Change...

I hate to just push this out there, but after a great run Michael and I have decided to part. This was a very difficult decision for both of us and we appreciate all who have supported us over seven year history. I know there may be some questions and a strong desire to offer support, and in time I think it will be appreciated.

To Michael I want to say how proud I am of you. You have changed so much in so many ways. you will always be in my heart. When I met this shy boy in 2000 I felt as if the whole world had stopped and now, 7 + years later, I am having the same feeling.

Life in the (Green Zone) International Zone…

Today marks the completion of my 26th day here in Iraq. It some ways it has been very difficult, yet in others it has been rewarding beyond explanation. I know that I have attempted to do the series thing before and failed, but I want to try again. Unless something more interesting or noteworthy comes along, I going to talk about my experiences thus far. This is however going to be interactive. My first entry will be "No Complaining in Iraq". From there, it is up to you...the reader. Immediately below this entry I have listed several topics that I would like to eventually expand upon, but I want you to choose the topic. At the end, simply comment, with name or anonymous, it’s up to you. Also, if you have something specifically you want to ask or you want me to expand upon, feel free to let me know that as well.

No complaining in Iraq

One of the things that you catch onto first here is that as American civilians you do not complain in Iraq. Before I explain in any detail I think it might be helpful to give you an idea of what my life consists of here in Iraq (the things I would complain about...but I'm not!).

First off, I work an incredible amount of hours per day and after nearly four weeks in country I have yet to take a day off. Second, the living conditions are not ideal to the western world, for example, I am routinely chased around my room by the biggest cockroaches you have ever seen. Third, the only place to have a drink is a tiny bar on the camp where the guy pushing swill goes by "get-er-done". Four, you cannot drink the water anywhere in Iraq. Five, I live between two practice firing ranges for the military. You have not heard shit til you've been blown out of your bed by the sound of a 50 Caliber. And six, helicopters will damn near land on your roof anytime of the day or night. Now, I will explain why you, as an American civilian do not complain.

As an American living and working for an American firm here in Baghdad I have the absolute full force protection by the U.S. Military. This may sound a bit trite, but I assure you that from the first step off of the plane you can feel it. It is a surreal feeling to be in a war zone in one of the must tumultuous periods in modern history and have no concern for your personal safety because the presence of 160,000+ soldiers making sure that you go home alive is palpable.

Prior to coming to Iraq I had little use for the military. I did not come for a military family nor did I really know anyone that did. To me the military was a place to send an unruly boy. That said, on the list of things that have changed in my life since coming to Iraq, that is number one. It gives me chills each time I look up and see soldiers hanging out of helicopters or the one kid sitting in the cat-bird seat as M1A1 Abrams rolling into the red zone (yeah, its what you think). I honestly don't know how they do it. As a comparison, when I travel out into the red zone I have a task force (I can't tell you who or how many) that can and will take out a small village should anything obstruct my path. When I travel I am in personal body armor from head to toe and the coordinates of my travels are plotted out days in advance. The irony is that these soldiers who put there lives on the line for us each day make a fraction of what we make and live in conditions much more sparse than anything I have seen. I would never excuse an outright crime conducted by anyone, but for these guys, I would certainly look away as they punched the shit out of anyone who suggested that they are baby killers, rapist, or murders simply because they are soldiers serving in Iraq - read blogs, this is a common sediment.

The other side of the coin here is the Iraqi people. Regardless of how you feel about the war, these people are literally caught in the middle. From Washington DC it was so easy to sit at the Wonderland and to make grand statements about the war, the administration or the obscene amount of money being wasted on the reconstruction. However, from this view point, it is quite different. I realize that anyone reading this is likely to be left leaning, and I don't mean to offend anyone, but this is not a war anymore. It is not about just about politics, religion, or ethnicity; it is about the survival of a nation and future of the Middle East. I remember earlier this year becoming numb to war information...soldiers killed...car bombs...insurgents...surge...I had heard enough, the war wasn't real. That all changed my first week in Baghdad and for me it was sobering. You see, there is this really big kid (22 +/-) 7' tall gentle giant that works with me. I was pretty new, so I didn't talk much. He was a nice guy who each morning would walk in and shook your hand and talk to you about your morning then turn around and do the same thing in the evening before he left for the day. Anyway, I began to notice one day that he (can't use his name) was being visited by everyone in the office. I could not hear what they were saying, but I would hear him give a sincere thank you and soft "enshala" which translates to "Gods Will". What I quickly learned was that my new co-worker and now friend had the week before experienced a death in his family because of the war. I can't tell you the specifics, but you did hear about it and it was not a "military" action. He went on with his day, his week, and his life because here, you have too. Upon discussing this with another Iraqin in the office I was informed "John, every Iraqi you will meet while you are here has lost a brother, sister, mother, father, or child to this war. He must continue as must all continue or we should all leave." I was dumbfounded. I don't mean to suggest that they are cold to death, because they are not. For them, they grieve, but they go on. They are very well aware of their mortality and that because they are working for the "Americans" they are targets, their lives are literally at risk everytime they walk through a gate. One young man in our office recently married and he did not tell his wife where he worked until after they exchanged vows because her family would not allow the marriage to happen.

I may have taken the long way around to make this point, but for all of the hardships that I must endure to be here, the one thing I am assured is my safety and protection. The irony is that of everyone here in this country, the American civilian is the most privileged and least deserving of his rewards. So, I hope that wasn't too long---it looks like a lot of words.

Shhh, don't say Green Zone.

Cruising the Red Zone.

"LOCKDOWN, LOCKDOWN, LOCKDOWN...-"

Surprisingly... no politics.

Members of the Coalition get armour, Iraqis are not members of the Coalition.

Money, who needs money?

This is not a life.

The International Zone is NOT Iraq or Baghdad.

Who is the enemy?

Being stupid will get you killed.

Touchdown Baghdad.....

This is pretty much a required picture for every American that touches down in Baghdad. In this picture I am in the green zone in the middle of Saddam's parade ground. This is road in which the troops would walk by Saddam's presidential box to be inspected. This is a very interesting monument because like everything else in Baghdad, it celebrates war.

Heading to the Red Zone now, so more later.

Love everyone!

Some brief thoughts on Kuwait City...

Upon arriving in the Middle East I had a layover in Kuwait City. Being the typical American, all I really knew about Kuwait was that Saddam attempted to invade the country in the early 90's. I wasn't there long, but I am able to offer a few observations:

1. A minibar without alcohol is not a minibar...its just a mini refrigerator with lame ass non-alcoholic beer!
2. The country smells like dust and Oil, that's it folks...dust and oil.
3. Lot of men walking around, but very few women. I am not sure of the social implication here (oppressed gender), but it is noticeable.
4. When you think of Kuwait, think Khaki.
5. No OSHA - this place is a huge fine waiting to happen.
6. Transportation Security Administration - Nothing close!
7. Everyone smokes. Seriously, everyone, everywhere....even in an elevator.

Unfortunately, I did not get to get out much, so my impression of the city and country is pretty limited.

Going, going, gone...

It may have taken a little longer than expected, but I am finally in the middle east. I am currently in Kuwait City awaiting the puddle jumper (dune jumper?) that will shuttle me for the last leg of my trip into Baghdad. Early this morning I took a walk around the city, then ran back and quickly started to put down some thoughts - oh yeah, its different over here - but something else was on my mind.

Maybe I am already getting a bit home sick, or perhaps I am a bit anxious about the new job, but since leaving DC Monday night, my family and friends have been at the forefront of my mind. Oh, now don't go thinking I'm getting all sappy, on the contrary, I am enjoying the experience but I keep thinking how much more fun it would be if Michael, Stephanie, Colleen, my sisters, or even my mother were with me to share this experience. By nature, I am not a loner; I thrive around others. So, that said, I will you all were here.


I am also posting some pictures of family and friends that took time out of their lives to stop by and have a drink or dinner before I headed out. In particular, special props to Michael and Stephanie whom had to endure several long nights out and Connie, Michelle, and Colleen for driving halfway across the country to see me off.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/89974963@N00/sets/72157602467692667

Time to Come Clean...

I have known this for a quite a while now, and I probably should have shared it earlier, but late next week I am beginning my path toward Baghdad. I was asked to join a team that will help build the Iraqi government's financial infrastructure and payment system. Now I know that this does not sound exciting to most, but for me this is a very exciting opportunity to do what what I went to school for (Public Policy / Public Financial Management).

Below are the most popular questions I have answered since finding out about the project:

1. Are you kidding? I am very serious; besides my jokes are much better than this.
2. Are you worried? I am not worried, at least as far as my safety is concerned. It is important to remember that I will be shielded by the U.S. Military and Blackwater (no jokes please...I'm sensitive).
3. Are you concerned about anything? Yes, of course. First of all, I will miss the love and security provide to me by Michael on a daily basis. I am also a bit concerned about missing the luxury of being around my friends, the oppressive heat, and the constricted travel. However, what I am most concerned about is a concern that Stephanie made; spending day in and day out surrounded by death and those that are callous to it...I am concerned about how that will change me.
4. How is Michael with this decision? He is extremely supportive. For those that know us well, we have had a very difficult year and have come out much happier and stronger than we have ever been. He is a bit concerned, but he is much more independent that I, so I don't think the solitude is a factor. On the contrary, I'm sure he'll enjoy the peaceful evenings.
5. How long will you be there? I have "signed on" for a year. This will of course depend on the project and the current state of Iraq. If our safety cannot be secured, we will be sent packing.
6. When do you leave? Tentatively I am scheduled to leave for Combat Readiness Training in Fort Benning GA October 6 then depart for Iraq October 13.

That's it for now, but I welcome any questions or advice that anyone may have. This is going to be an amazing year.

Some things you just can't pass up...

Over the past few months I have taken a brief hiatus from blogging, but fortunately for my adoring fans, I have recently jumped back in. Now perhaps I am alone on this, but after these breaks (i.e. not focusing on what I might want to post on my blog) I become a bit rusty even unsure of what still meets the mission of my blog which is to provide: Thoughts and musing from a twisted and sporadic.

Therefore in the absence of witty musings or legitimate content about my personal life, professional life, and the every entertaining Republican Party I will do the ole standby: Post a picture for comment....I will go first.

Adarsh inflating Matt.

John and Mike Protest...

It took more than two years, but Michael and I attended our first protest in Washington DC this weekend and man was it a learning experience. The event took place this past Saturday and to be quite blunt, we really did not know what we were getting into.

More late, but for now a cute pic of my lil protester.

The Wonderland Ballroom...

I want to give a big shout out to the management of The Wonderland Ballroom because this past week they made a business decision that I am sure will have immediate if not long term returns on their investment: The Fired Kara

I want to be the first to congratulate them on this business defining decision. You see for the most part I really don't care who works behind the bar, regardless of the establishment, because frankly I understand the relationship and it is pretty simple; I want a beer; they hand me a beer; I give them money for the beer and something additional as a tip. Don't get me wrong, I do not think that the relationship needs to be that sterile, but it is the foundation. That said, I have been to a lot of bars in the DC / Northern Virginia region (yes, I do stay out of MD) and have experienced many different types of bartenders (good, bad, mediocre) but I have never experienced anything quite like Kara and honestly it is a story in itself.

I have been going into the Wonderland for nearly two years now. Me and my friends were originally turned onto the place by other friends who had been going since the bar opened and we liked it a lot. I would not call us frequent visitors, but we did go on Saturdays for a little dancing, Monday's for trivia, and an occasional after work drink. Now I tell you about the frequency of my visits and the time frame for which I visited because they will become an issue later in the story. As the story goes, one mild DC afternoon some friends and I walked (dragged) our asses down to 11 th and Kenyon for a bit of the hair of the dog that bit us. In addition to our small group (5ish), because of the bars close proximity to us, we convinced three other friends to make the trek to Columbia Heights to meet us. We showed up about ten minutes late as they already had their drinks. I made my way to the downstairs bar and patiently waited at the end of the bar. I was in no hurry, so I just kinda stood there and waited for the bartender to make her way down the relatively empty bar. What came next I can only recount as my mind will let me. This bartender, Kara ( (see Rosmary's Baby) lost her GOD DAMN MIND. Standing no more than the width of the bar from he she screeched to me (paraphrased):

"Who the fuck do YOOOOUUU think you are? I have customers at the other end of the fuckin bar, go down there if you want something"

(Internal Voice: Despite not seeing a trailer anywhere in the neighborhood, I'm sure I recognize her from Indiana, possibly Corn School, the county fair, or was she one of those frequent guests on the Jerry Springer Show /Maury Show where she spends the entire show trying to figure out which of the 18 guys on stage that have been in her are the father of her baby? Hint: I am of the feeling that the ladder doesn't apply in this girls situation.)

However, being the nice "midwesterner" that I am, I simply gave her the stink eye and walked back out to the patio where I encouraged my entourage to finish their drinks. We abruptly left and headed over to this lovely place on Georgia Ave. However, as we were waiting for our friends to finish their drinks, I couldn't contain myself. I was in shock and and as I relived the nightmare to my friends the bar helper leaned into me and whispered, "at least you don't have to work with her". So we left and you would thing the story would be over, right? Clearly not or this would be a pretty lame story.

This past weekend one my friend who was sitting with us that afternoon sent me a link to a myspace blog (public and open mind you) that he had run across. At first I didn't really consider it as I get a lot of Myspace and Youtube e-mails. After boredom set in I finally clicked the link...oh, it was pure joy. It seems that Kara got her as shitcanned. This of course was no news, but she broadcast it to the world through an myspace blog rant. Unfortunately you cannot read it any longer because she locked her page, but if you ask nicely, she may make you a friend and you can read it (http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=14986890) . Her rant was pretty predictable (unfair management, fuck head this, dick head that...), but what was most interesting was one comment she made that seemed to be the only bit of honesty in her tirade. That she was fired because the neighborhood was changing and that the Wonderland management wanted higher standards for the treatment of their customers...WOW. She actually understands she was fired because she is a horrible human being and she still doesn't get it. Immediately following her speech were several comments from her loyal patrons that have committed to following her to next haunt. Well, as did another, felt compelled to share our experience with the little skank. So I basically recounted the above mentioned story to her and informed her that while I sincerely hope that she lands on her feet, I really would like to know where so that I will not make the same mistake of ordering a drink from her again. The following is her e-mail response to me:

And, in the event you can't ready it...here is the transcription:

"who the fuck asked you?

midwestern whities like you would have been eaten alive in that neighborhood 5 years ago. now you thnk you own the city. im sure you and your friends bored me to tears at that bar and got me depressed about what the wonderland was coming to. btw, there was no patio service there, so youre damn right you got your drinks from inside! sorry that was such a burden, fatty. you dont know me, so stay the fuck away from me and my myspace. "

I won't say anything else (spell check), because honestly, this chick is such an easy target. However, to the management of The Wonderland Ballroom, I say congratulations and after a long drought, We'll see you soon.

Somethings are just...Funny!

For those of you that have no idea what is going in my personal life, this will make absolutely no sense to you. However, for those few that are "in the know" this entry is absolutely hysterical.

First let me state that in no way shape or form do I believe in astrology...but for some reason I always read the horoscopes, and not just mine. I read all of my friends in an attempt to gain some sort of insight as to how I should interact...bizarre, I know. That said, per Friendster.com below is my horoscope for yesterday, Sunday, July 29.

• Try not to resist transitions in any of your relationships -- especially the romantic ones -- right now. If you can stay open to changes a little bit longer, then you will benefit from some important new information. Feeling uncomfortable for a short period of time is a small price to pay for an enlightened sense of who you are, and what role you are meant to play in this partnership. Just let things take their course, and you will be able to bob and weave along with the changes.

There are several reasons this makes me laugh. The first is timing, and frankly that is what the horoscope is all about. The second is patience. If this is MY horoscope, then they should know I have zero patience. Finally, this is the same conversation I have had with everyone that I am close to. Its funny how life just keeps pounding on you til you really get the point....got it!